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God was a Jew and other jokes

Enter here for humour and irreverence.
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VINDICATOR
Posts: 460
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#401 Postby VINDICATOR » September 14th, 2018, 1:55 pm

Latest post of the previous page:

What comes after the Christian era? If you think that the downfall of the Christian Church will make me happy then you don't understand human history. At the present stage of evolution, humanity needs a religion to fill up man's spiritual vacuum. There are very few humans like us who are content with the concept of no after-life. They all yearn to go to Heaven and are afraid of going to Hell! Christianity is dying a slow death, but Islam is trying to take over the World! As things are going now, it is projected that Islam will become the predominant religion before the end of tha Century! I don't know about you, but i'd much rather see a Christian world than a Muslim world! Therefore we should keep the pressure on the Church to reform, such as Ireland is doing, but at the same time ensure that the pressure isn't so stong thay it destroys the Church! Islam needs a "Reformation" too, but I'm very pessemistic about that! The only Reformation in it's 14 Century history is that women are now allowed to drive cars in Saudi Arabia!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 460
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#402 Postby VINDICATOR » September 16th, 2018, 4:11 pm

How about an up-to-date limerick?

A haughty Cult leader in Rome
Wants to make the whole World his home.
But his fearful pedo' army of Priests
Makes people realize they're just beasts!
:laughter:

Come on everybody, let's hear yours!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 460
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#403 Postby VINDICATOR » September 17th, 2018, 1:00 pm

Some more on FGM:
Calling FGM "circumcision" is a lie. Male circumcision is the removal of the fore-skin which is an entirely useless piece of skin on the penis. Circumcision is actually beneficial to hygene and enhances sexual pleasure. I know because I have been circumcised because my parents thought it was beneficial to health.
In FGM, the entire clitoris is cut out, often the libia and other erogenous zones are cut out too. The purpose is to inhibit sexual tendencies of a woman so her husband can be assured of her fidelity. This is a very barbaric treatment of women and is outlawed in most civilized countries. However, it is very seldom enforced. Since it is outlawed, it is never done in a hospital operating room. It is usually done by a quack doctor or witch-doctor without aneasthetics or antibiotics using a rusty razor blade in a filthy environment! You can imagine the casualties coming from this operation! To guarantee that the girl is a virgin at marriage, after the operation the girl is sewn up tight leaving only a tiny hole to urinate from! When she gets married and the husband wants to have sex, she has to be cut open again! When she bears a child she has to be cut open larger! Afterwards she is sewn up again! (She should have a zipper installed!)
Witch-doctors are difficult to find in Europe and America so the girls are usually taken abroad for FGM.
The Quran does not sell FGM, but Mohammed in his Hadiths promotes it! There are several Cults that promote FGM besides Islam.
Imagine, FGM in the 21st Century! Anyway, it's better than burning to death at the stake! Humanism still has a long struggle ahead! The battle is not done yet!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 460
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#404 Postby VINDICATOR » September 19th, 2018, 5:55 am

Kudos, Britain!
Did you ever hear of Frank Foley? He was a true British hero during WW II who risked his life to save at least 10,000 jews from the holocaust! By comparrison the famous Oskar Schindler only saved about 1,000. (See today's CNN news). Hundreds of people from scores of countries were helping the Jews escape. Besides Foley and Schindler, Irene Sendler of Poland saved at least 2,500 children, Ho Feng-Shan of China saved about 3,000. You can find a detailed list in Wikipedia.
God was leading the Jews to the "Promised Land" for Centuries. He called them his "Chosen People"! He had a covenant with them. So how many Jews did God save from the Holocaust? Not a single one! God double-crossed the Jews! Hitler gassed the Jews and then burned them up. Then God sent them all to Hell to burn for eternity because they refused to accept his bastard son (born out of wedlock)as their Messiah! I can't understand how anyone would want to worship such a demon! God is now on the verge of double-crossing the Christians. He has changed his name to "Allah" and is putting all his chips on Islam! Watch out, dear Christians, don't say I didn't warn you!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 460
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#405 Postby VINDICATOR » September 19th, 2018, 11:55 am

Kudos Ireland!
Today Ireland made the 36th Ammendment to their Constitution so abortion is now legal in Ireland! The Pope lost again! The writing on the wall says that the Catholic Church is on it's last legs!

Nobody seemed to notice that the last line to my limerick on the Pope had a missing line. I was hoping that someone would bring it to my attention, or put in a line. Guess I'll have to do it myself. The complete limerick is:

A haughty Cult leader in Rome
Wants to make the whole World his home.
but his fearful pedo' army of priests
makes people realize they're just beasts.
So he's only suitable to rule in a catacomb!

:hilarity: :hilarity: :hilarity:

User avatar
animist
Posts: 6437
Joined: July 30th, 2010, 11:36 pm

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#406 Postby animist » September 21st, 2018, 2:02 pm

my slightly less savage version of your idea, Vinnie:

The Holy Father in Rome
Would take the whole world to his dome.
But the army of beasts
Claiming to be Catholic priests
Should keep him securely at home

User avatar
animist
Posts: 6437
Joined: July 30th, 2010, 11:36 pm

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#407 Postby animist » Yesterday, 11:59 am



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