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Pedantic fun with religious texts

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Pedantic fun with religious texts

#1 Post by Paolo » March 4th, 2009, 2:56 pm

The Bible contains a lot of guff that can be turned on its head with the pedantic application of logic.

For example:
"From the rising of the sun unto the going down of the same the LORD's name is to be praised." (Psalm 113:3).
I have no problem with this statement since the sun neither rises nor goes down making it utterly unnecessary to praise the name of the LORD. The movement of the Earth relative to the Sun (rather than the other way round) is an objective truth identified by science, but something utterly unknown in the Bible. This example (and the numerous others like it) demonstrate why the truth offered by the Bible is not true at all.

Another example:
"The fool has said in his heart, there is no God." (Psalm 14.1).
Again, I have no problem with this (unless it is on a bus), because to say that "there is no God" is a definitive statement that cannot be proved. It is, however, not as foolish as someone saying in their heart that there is God, which is also a definitive statement that has even less support than an outright denial. (See here for further discussion about this one)

Can you think of any more like these? It would be nice to stockpile some ammo for arguments with Cretinists who take the Bible guff as literal truth.

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Alan C.
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Re: Pedantic fun with religious texts

#2 Post by Alan C. » March 4th, 2009, 3:07 pm

Proverbs 28:25 If you trust the Lord wou will put on weight.
Maybe this explains why there are so many fat Christians.

Leviticus 20:27 Kill all mediums by stoning
Surely they'd see it coming?
Abstinence Makes the Church Grow Fondlers.

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Re: Pedantic fun with religious texts

#3 Post by jaywhat » March 4th, 2009, 4:06 pm

Alan C. wrote:Leviticus 20:27 Kill all mediums by stoning
Surely they'd see it coming?
The very clever ones would but most of them are only medium :laughter:

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Re: Pedantic fun with religious texts

#4 Post by Nick » March 4th, 2009, 6:18 pm

"And lead us not into temptation...." if He would :twisted:
(courtesy of my grandpa :D )

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Re: Pedantic fun with religious texts

#5 Post by Zoe » March 5th, 2009, 11:06 am

Psalm 139
1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

Sounds as if he even watches me when I'm on the loo with my knickers down. What a perv. :cross:

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