Expletives

[Kathy1962]

I'll admit, I swear a bit. Well, quite a lot really but I try to moderate my language in polite company. I also take "the Lord's name" in vain frequently, which is probably inappropriate in a humanist (why call upon someone I don't believe in?), and most of the "Gosh!" type expletives are derived from blasphemous words anyway. I had a teacher who said "Footstools!" when cross but that's a bit too mimsy for me. Are there other, non-sweary, non-religious, non-twee words out there?

[Paolo]

"Feck" is a good one (the celebrant used "fecking" at my wedding, which set the tone nicely) and I always liked "oh frolics" - almost feels as good as "bollocks" in your mouth... Hang on, that came out really badly!

[Lifelinking]

I worked with a chap who used the word 'fizzin'. He became affectionately know as 'Willie Fizzin'. Which come to think of it could be a symptom of a venereal disease.

[Nick]

Peter de Rosa, in his brilliant book Pope Patrick, (very highly recommended) used the invented word "procking" after a politician call Prock, who was caught doing something he shouldn't. Very useful!

[Kathy1962]

Hmm, I'm not sure that's entirely helpful... but at least I'm

I used to know a chap - he was a regular in the very rough pub in which I had a part-time job - who wouldn't swear in front of a lady. Not even me. He used "bucking" quite a lot. All the bucking time, for buck's sake.

[Alan C.]

You could always use some Shetland expletives, nobody would have a clue wot you're on about.

Witless......................Glaiket
Bastard....................Mirrybegyit.
Clumsy.......................Clushit You could string those three together or perm any two from three.


Excrement....................Cokkies.
God.............................Him at's abon. Abon being above.
Idiot............................Dereeshion.
Testicles........Nackers. Not really a Shetland one that, we used it in Cumbria but starting with a K.
Shite..................Sharne.

Myself I use JESUS! and JESUS H CHRIST! all the time.

[Paolo]

I tend to use "Holy Mary, mother of f*ck!" whenever I get the chance - you should see the reaction that used to get when I lived in Ireland...

Nothing wrong with religious expletives just because you don't believe in the figures mentioned.

[Emma Woolgatherer]

Are there other, non-sweary, non-religious, non-twee words out there?

Ooh, that's asking a lot.

But I can think of one or two. There's "rats". And "pants".

Hmmm ... I think it ought to be possible to pick suitable words that don't sound twee. I quite like "pig swill" and "slop". And "frass", which means insect droppings. And "fecula", which means dregs. And "dregs" works when added to various other words, like "worm dregs", "bean dregs". And any kind of plant diseases and pests might work, like "pod spot" and "leaf scab" and "box blight" and "root rot" and "clubroot" and "fungal wilt" and "yellow rust" and "slime mould" and "bleeding canker" and "powdery mildew". And "stinkbug" and "weevil" and "sapsucker" and "pinworm" and "thrips" and "mealy bugs" . And also animal diseases and pests like "sheep scab" and "scrapie" and "goat pox" and "bluetongue" and "glanders" and "farcy" and "lungworm" and "warble fly".

And some human diseases and pests, too. Like "scabies" and "crabs" and "foot rot" and "ringworm" and "dandruff". And related to that, there's "pus" and "phlegm" and "mucus" and "sputum". And "bedsores" and "blisters" and "warts" and "boils" and "oozing crust". And "pustules" and "papules" and "nodules" and "macules" and "blackheads" and "whiteheads" and "cysts" and "yellow-topped pus-filled lesions".

I think the important thing is for the word to have a (slightly) unpleasant meaning. That's why "sugar" and "fudge" are not suitable substitute swear words".

"Feck" is a good one ...

Yes, but can you get away with it if you're not Irish? And don't most British people assume that it's a euphemistic deformation of "fuck"?

Emma

[jaywhat]

bletch !

[Paolo]

"Feck" is a good one ...

Yes, but can you get away with it if you're not Irish? And don't most British people assume that it's a euphemistic deformation of "fuck"?

But it's fun to correct them!

[Nick]

I find that !!~#*!%!@*!! is quite useful.....

[xman]

I usually cry, "mercy". I remember when my mother was really upset she'd bellow, "Suffering ƒµ¢<!π' Christ on the cross".

X

[Lifelinking]

I am quite fond of the phrases 'away an sell yer matches' and 'away and bile yer heid'. Also 'away an lie in yer pish ya big blooter'. The exclamation 'beats being fucked wi the blunt end o' a rag mans trumpet' is quite descriptive if somewhat eye watering, as is the description of being 'kicked in the baws by a Shettleston Coal Horse'. The expression 'and yer maw' can quickly render individuals purple in the face and place one at risk of a moderate chibbin' or maybe the severe malky. The descriptive terms 'ya spanner', 'ya fud', 'ya bawbag', 'ya choob', 'ya dobber', 'ya fanny', 'ya cabbage' and 'ya spunk bubble' may be interpreted as friendly banter or as a deep insult, depending on intonation. Best keep quiet if yer not quite sure. Ya 'big haddie' on the other hand, is always friendly. Well know word combinations include 'cabbage heid' and 'fanny baws'. It would be quite acceptable, and in some cases quite accurate, to refer to somebody as a feckless fucker. Logically this could be extended into phrases such as 'for fucksake feck off ya feckless fucker'. Language is fun innit?

[Alan C.]

Lifelinking
. Language is fun innit?

Quite, especially the Scottish version of it

[jaywhat]

Except that, surely, it has less impact the farther away you go from the land of the Scot.

As for 'feck', I have to admit, in ignorance, that I am totally feckless

[MedMae]

I -ing like -ing.

Used by Mister Tulip in The truth by Terry Pratchett.

[Alan C.]

A short video re swearing.
Stephen Fry on the Joys of Swearing

[Kathy1962]

You could always use some Shetland expletives, nobody would have a clue wot you're on about.

Witless......................Glaiket
Bastard....................Mirrybegyit.
Clumsy.......................Clushit You could string those three together or perm any two from three.


Excrement....................Cokkies.
God.............................Him at's abon. Abon being above.
Idiot............................Dereeshion.
Testicles........Nackers. Not really a Shetland one that, we used it in Cumbria but starting with a K.
Shite..................Sharne.

Myself I use JESUS! and JESUS H CHRIST! all the time.

My father spoke Doric and used several of those. I like Mirrybegyit though - merrybegotton?

[Alan C.]

Kathy 1962
My father spoke Doric and used several of those. I like Mirrybegyit though - merrybegotton?

Yes Kathy "Mirrybegyit" Illegitimate (or Bastard)
"merrybegotton" I haven't heard that one, but it does kind of speak for itself

[Fia]

The descriptive terms ... 'ya choob',

I've had a lightbulb moment. My daughters use "choob", which I have always liked, but in my inestimable Englishness heard it as 'tube'. I have taken over the years to apologise for my tubularity, making huge sense to me but probably not anyone else...

And I love 'merrybegotten'. Will use it from now on