Our very own countdown thread!

[jaywhat]

Latest post of the previous page:

996514

not as erratic as our subtraction but so what !

[Marian]

Lewis,

Got any left-over paint? You could have a D-I-Y erratic?
I bet the floor looks absolutely charming. I can picture it just now.

996,513

[lewist]

Lewis,

Got any left-over paint? You could have a D-I-Y erratic?
I bet the floor looks absolutely charming. I can picture it just now.

996,513

996 512
It does, Marian, it does.

[jamesjones950]

996,511

What's a DIY erotic? Where can I buy/rent/subscribe?

[Dave B]

996,511

What's a DIY erotic? Where can I buy/rent/subscribe?

You can make you own, it takes no skill at all. Merely place an object in a place where you would be least likely to look for it, wait about two years and - Robert is your mother's/father's sibling! You stumble over this object and wonder why it is in such a strange place.

This works best for those over a certain age.

996, 510

[Nick]

996,509

I seem to be doing something wrong. I put something exactly where I would expect to find it in future, but when I come to look for it I can't find it....

I don't even have to wait two years....

[Dave B]

996,509

I seem to be doing something wrong. I put something exactly where I would expect to find it in future, but when I come to look for it I can't find it....

I don't even have to wait two years....

Ah, that is an anti-erratic. One is an object in an unusual place, the other is a place void of a usual object.

Never allow the two to occur in the same place, this causes the usual object to be in its usual place, a happening that this totally against the universal law and causes an outbreak of normality. And we all know what that leads to, er, don't we? Usually doing that chore you have been putting off because you now have the widget for fitting the wotsit.

Now, where did I put number 996, 508?

[jamesjones950]

996,507

Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I.

Is it any b wonder?

[Dave B]

996,507

Sorry, JJ, confused the erotic with the erratic - can be damn painful! Do not try carving DIY erotics out of hard materials either, also painful.

[getreal]

996,506

I'm going camping this weekend with a couple of friends (and oor dugs. Of course!).

Can't wait!!

[Fia]

996,505

Oooh, what fun getreal, do enjoy At least the dugs will keep you warm

[Marian]

996,504

Taking Curtis Jr to watch the big tennis tournament on the weekend. We are known as the fan club!! In fact, our spots are reserved.

[Dave B]

our spots are reserved

Sorry to drag the tone down but a very silly image involving zits came into my mind
996,503

[jamesjones950]

996,502

Er, would those zits images be of an erratically erotic DIY nature, by any chance, Dave?

[Dave B]

996,502

Er, would those zits images be of an erratically erotic DIY nature, by any chance, Dave?

Er, no, though I have to admit that that certain aspects of my life do tend to have become erratic with age . . .

996,501

[getreal]

So, what are tennis spots, if they are not of the zit variety? Because that's what I thought, too

996,500

[Dave B]

"spots" = "places" for bums on seats?

996,499

[Marian]

996,498

Or sun spots which have nothing to do with tennis spots or seats.

[Nick]

...or sons







996,497

[jaywhat]

.... or lovers

996,496

[Nick]

996,495

As this thread has something to do with counting, I thought I'd post here to announce that this is (extraodinarily!) my 5,000th post on TH (besides several hundred PM's). If you had told me 3-and-a-bit years ago that that would be the case, I'd have been very surprised and somewhat sceptical.

However, here we are! So I'd like to take the opportunity to thank Maria and Alan for setting up this forum to promote humanism, to thank them and all my fellow posters for the fun and education I have received from it, for allowing me the opportunity to explore (and share) my own views on a whole variety of topics, and perhaps most importantly, to say thanks for the friendships I have made with fellow posters, whom I would otherwise never have met.

3 cheers for everyone!