How do you say . . . ?

[Dave B]

How do you tell friends that you are not really interested in Xmas and that you wish they would stop sending you horribly kitsch electronic cards?

I know that they mean well and all that but I just feel it is a waste of time and money. And I feel a little embarrassed about it, though I think that is manly a hangover from the expectation that life has imbued in us.

I am very happy to share a meal and a few drinks, maybe even some board games and a laugh - but the rest of it just does nothing for me at all.


Do I just fees-up and tell them that I would prefer just a phone call?

[Alan H]

How do you tell friends that you are not really interested in Xmas and that you wish they would stop sending you horribly kitsch electronic cards?

I know that they mean well and all that but I just feel it is a waste of time and money. And I feel a little embarrassed about it, though I think that is manly a hangover from the expectation that life has imbued in us.

I am very happy to share a meal and a few drinks, maybe even some board games and a laugh - but the rest of it just does nothing for me at all.


Do I just fees-up and tell them that I would prefer just a phone call?

Say to them, "I'm not really interested in Xmas and I wish you would stop sending me horribly kitsch electronic cards - it's embarrassing and a waste of money"?

[Dave B]

How do you tell friends that you are not really interested in Xmas and that you wish they would stop sending you horribly kitsch electronic cards?

I know that they mean well and all that but I just feel it is a waste of time and money. And I feel a little embarrassed about it, though I think that is manly a hangover from the expectation that life has imbued in us.

I am very happy to share a meal and a few drinks, maybe even some board games and a laugh - but the rest of it just does nothing for me at all.


Do I just fees-up and tell them that I would prefer just a phone call?

Say to them, "I'm not really interested in Xmas and I wish you would stop sending me horribly kitsch electronic cards - it's embarrassing and a waste of money"?

Yeah, thought of that (last year...and the one before), somehow though I don't find it easy.

Silly because I would not mind if they did the same thing to me!

[Finding typing not easy, cut a small artery in my right index digit yesterday (using a scalpel to create Xmas cards for a friend's kids!) and it won't stop bleeding so it's well wrapped and I have to wear a plastic glove to keep it dry. Hit the wrong keys more often than usual.]

[Alan H]

[Finding typing not easy, cut a small artery in my right index digit yesterday (using a scalpel to create Xmas cards for a friend's kids!) and it won't stop bleeding so it's well wrapped and I have to wear a plastic glove to keep it dry. Hit the wrong keys more often than usual.]

Ouch! Does it need stitches or a skin closure?

[Dave B]

[Finding typing not easy, cut a small artery in my right index digit yesterday (using a scalpel to create Xmas cards for a friend's kids!) and it won't stop bleeding so it's well wrapped and I have to wear a plastic glove to keep it dry. Hit the wrong keys more often than usual.]

Ouch! Does it need stitches or a skin closure?

It should have had a steri-strip but I have run out of them. Moderately tight binding seems to be keeping it closed. Cut only about 4mm long but just happened to be in the wrong place! Not the first time - will I never learn?

Warfarin and aspirin do not help of course.

Later: changing the dressing and looking at the wound under a 60x hand microscope; it was definitely arterial blood, nice and bright, but probably just a small capillary feeder vessel from the depth.

[getreal]

Tell them you are a Jehovah's Witness.

[Alan H]

[Dave B]

Tell them you are a Jehovah's Witness.

Hmm, perhaps better Plymouth Brethren and give them a Hellfire and Damnation doorstep sermon!

[Alan C.]

getreal
Tell them you are a Jehovah's Witness.

Yeah that would do away with birthdays as well Who needs to be reminded every year that they have one less year to live?

[Ninny]

Jaywhat and I have ignored all aspects of christmas for years. And it's taken years for the penny to drop. Now, our children (all grown up and with children of their own) are glad not to have to add us to the list of people to buy presents for, and they don't mind not getting presents themselves. Yes, we are odd. Yes, we are doing our own thing. Yes,people accept it eventually (and some of them envy us).

[Altfish]

I enjoy Xmas.

We've cut back on presents to adults but still indulge the grandchild.
It's a great time for seeing old friends; our pub has a tradition of a meeting place on Xmas Day, so on Thursday I'll call in and see people who I haven't seen since last year but they are back home to meet up with their family. There will be a couple missing this year, we'll reminisce about them and drink to their memory.

I'm also hoping that my main present will be the Velvet Underground 3rd album re-issue (I've dropped enough hints)

[Tetenterre]

I enjoy it, but am usually relieved when it's over. My wife's family (almost all heathens ) has a tradition of "doing" Xmas in a big way over at least two days; more like Saturnalia, probably . Then spend the next few days catching up with old friends who we rarely see. It's a good social/family time and nice to do at this time of year when the daylight is so short.

We've cut back on presents to adults but still indulge the grandchild.

Same here. I got fed up with receiving stuff I'll never use. My kids tend to renew my handkerchieves or replensh the decent scotch, but L and I tend to think of something we want for the house/family and get each other that. In the past, it's been things like a woodburning stove or new furniture or tent. This year it's a decent food dehydrator.

I'm also hoping that my main present will be the Velvet Underground 3rd album re-issue (I've dropped enough hints)

If you don't mind the ethics of it, get yourself an Amazon Wishlist (it doesn't have to be Amazon-sold stuff you put in it; you can add stuff from wherever you like, or just write about what you would like). This has also gone a long way towards getting me stuff I actually want for birthdays & Xmas, etc.

[Alan H]

Choosing xmas presents...using science!

You really, really, shouldn’t have . . .

Waldfogel’s work on Christmas is well known to readers of this column but here is a quick summary for those who have forgotten. After surveying his students about gifts they had received over the holiday season, he found that most gifts were poorly chosen relative to what the students would have selected themselves. Gifts from friends and lovers tended to be better chosen than gifts from elderly relatives but, on average, the waste attributable to poorly chosen seasonal gifts was between 15 and 20 per cent of the purchase price of the gift — that’s well over $10bn wasted in the US alone every Christmas. This is a vast squandering of time, energy and valuable raw materials.

The usual response to this is that economists have, yet again, failed to appreciate the true meaning of Christmas. But to me this simply suggests that economists have managed to acquire a toxic brand in matters of human relations.

Were a priest to counsel against materialism at Christmas, nobody would accuse him or her of missing the point; the same message from an economist seems foolish and emotionally stunted.

Coupled with the findings from Adams, Flynn and Gino, the conclusion is plain: there is no need to stop buying Christmas presents but we should spend less and pay more attention to what the recipients might actually want.