Latest post of the previous page:And another:
Reality Is My Religion · I applied to be a homeopath
I found NHS Tayside on Twitter, so they have a few choice tweets waiting for them in the morning!
Latest post of the previous page:And another:
Alan H wrote:And another!
Bad Reason: Job Application for Speciality Doctor in Homoeopathy
I'll consolidate the list some time...
Will she apply? She'd be a strong candidate, surely?2 comments:
Dr. Nancy Malik said...
Real is scientific homeopathy. It cures even when Conventional conventional Medicine (CAM) fails. Nano doses of evidence-based modern homeopathy medicine brings big results for everyone
August 16, 2010 8:29 AM
Please find herewith my application for Specialty Doctor in Homeopathic Medicine at the Clinic in Dundee. This is most heroic of me, as I realise that 2 sessions per week is really more than the human body can cope with, but I’m prepared to make that sacrifice for NHS patients.
On the other hand, as no self-respecting GP or Hospital Consultant (not even in Tayside and Fife) would ever dream of committing professional suicide, after all those years of study and training, by referring any patient to a quack, it can’t be so arduous after all, as there should be nothing to do.
Though this is the first I have ever heard of the Faculty of Homeopathy, I do not think I would have any difficulty in becoming a member, as I do not see how it would be possible to discern any improvement or deterioration in any patient of mine attributable to the application of homeopathic remedies. This should ensure minimum side effects and hence very low compensation payouts to bereaved relatives.
Outpatient sessions sound OK to me, as any patient needing any real treatment should sure as hell not be an in-patient. Likewise, auditing the service should not be a problem, as it can clearly be seen, even by the most ignorant auditor, that the service provides no discernable medical benefit whatsoever. So long as I state that in every audit, I can’t see where I can go wrong.
I must admit, however, I am a little mystified by the concept of CPD. After all, homeopathy can hardly be called a profession, can it? And development implies some sort of expansion- surely not what is required in improving the Health Service and its patients. And as for ‘continued’.... well I’m assuming that’s just been inserted to catch out the unwary applicant (not me!). Obviously one would not want to continue it would you?
Likewise, I’m sure I’ll find the post-grad supervision a breeze. So long as they confirm that all the homeopathic treatment has no discernable benefit beyond placebo, they will be doing OK.
Now I realise I have hitherto been modest about my own abilities and experience, but now is the time to lay out my stall. My entire adult life has been dedicated to the homeopathic way of life. Once upon a time, I half read a bit of a medical text-book. This made me feel quite poorly. Conducting my own original research, I found that lack of alcohol had a similar effect. For the last 30-odd years, therefore, I have been diluting sobriety on a daily and exponential basis, not forgetting that succession has been provided by many willing bouncers, angry boyfriends (not mine, of course) and burly police officers of various ranks, who presumably have appreciated the finer points of homeopathy.
There, now. I’m done. I realise that rather knocks the stuffing out of the other applicants’ rather feeble efforts. For them it must be like submitting a first class paper and finding the other candidates have submitted a paper worth a Starred First, Cum Laude. Still, such is life. Only the best is good enough for Tayside and Fife, and it saves you having to look through the pile of dross I’m sure you’ve received.
You’ll forgive me if I take the money in an undiluted form. Won’t you? I think, as your resident expert, I would be the one best suited to dissipating it throughout the economy, don’t you think? If you’re shy about replying and confirming the appointment, don’t worry. I understand. I’ll just show up on the day, and let HR have my bank details during a quiet patch.
Now then, just whereabouts is Dundee.......?
Of course that's ok, Aphra, providing you succuss it with a lime and some homeopathic ice.Aphra wrote:Excellent. If it was up to me, you'd get the job. Or maybe Dean should get it. It's so hard to choose, I've come over all peculiar and may need some restorative homeopathy. Is it OK if I dilute it with gin?
Nick wrote:Here's my application:Though this is the first I have ever heard of the Faculty of Homeopathy, I do not think I would have any difficulty in becoming a member...
A prescribing advisory group covering ten PCTs has stepped in to prevent commissioners from funding homeopathic treatments, claiming the effects are not significant enough to warrant NHS cash ...
The Greater Manchester Medicines Management Group (GMMMG) has told PCTs and commissioners across the region that homeopathic treatments cannot be recommended, as an independent review commissioned by another trust, NHS West Kent, found they are neither clinically nor cost effective.
Tim Evans, chair of the GMMMG and chief executive of NHS Bolton, told Pulse he was keen not to appear to be wasting NHS resources.
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