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God was a Jew and other jokes

Enter here for humour and irreverence.
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VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#261 Postby VINDICATOR » January 17th, 2018, 4:06 am

Latest post of the previous page:

Sorry for the typo on my last post. The christian Church in the Inquisition and Witch Hunts burned more than 10 million people to death at the stake! Victor Hugo's estimate for the Inquisition is over 5 million. Prof. of Archeology at Un. of California, Marija Gimbutas,said that in the witch hunts of 16-17th Century, at least 9 million women and children were burned/murdered!
Hitler was very humane, he would first murder the Jews, then burn them. The Church just burned them alive so they could have the pleasure of watching them screaming and writhing in agony!

Compassionist
Posts: 3288
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#262 Postby Compassionist » January 17th, 2018, 9:40 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Sorry for the typo on my last post. The christian Church in the Inquisition and Witch Hunts burned more than 10 million people to death at the stake! Victor Hugo's estimate for the Inquisition is over 5 million. Prof. of Archeology at Un. of California, Marija Gimbutas,said that in the witch hunts of 16-17th Century, at least 9 million women and children were burned/murdered!
Hitler was very humane, he would first murder the Jews, then burn them. The Church just burned them alive so they could have the pleasure of watching them screaming and writhing in agony!

I didn't know the figures were so high. I don't consider what Hitler did to be "humane" even though burning people alive is worse than killing them in gas chambers. I wonder how many people were killed by the adherents of other religions.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#263 Postby VINDICATOR » January 17th, 2018, 11:39 am

Compassionist,
When I said Hitler was humane, I was sarcastically comparing Hitler to the Old Catholic Church! Would you rather die first and then burn, or would you prefer to be burned alive? Note that I said "old" Church, because the modern Church doesn't do that anymore! However, the Church closet is full of these skeletons and they spend a lot of gold trying to cover up their criminal history! Every year it becomes more difficult to find references to these crimes to humanity!
However, Christianity is not all bad, it did some good too. For Instance, When the Europeans settled the Americas, they destroyed the Aztec religion which was even much more bloodthirsty than they were. Moreover we should thank God that the colonists were Christian. If it were the Muslims who colonized America, then the whole Western Hemisphere would be a "shit-hole" like the Middle East and North Africa are today!
The bloodiest of all the mainsream religions is Islam. Their religion calls on them to kill all the infidels. Throughout history they have killed at least 100 million infidels. They also kill each other. The Sunni Cult and Sheite cult have been murdering each other for Centuries, killing at least 70 million Muslims! Today they blow up each other's mosques!

Compassionist
Posts: 3288
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#264 Postby Compassionist » January 17th, 2018, 3:12 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Compassionist,
When I said Hitler was humane, I was sarcastically comparing Hitler to the Old Catholic Church! Would you rather die first and then burn, or would you prefer to be burned alive? Note that I said "old" Church, because the modern Church doesn't do that anymore! However, the Church closet is full of these skeletons and they spend a lot of gold trying to cover up their criminal history! Every year it becomes more difficult to find references to these crimes to humanity!
However, Christianity is not all bad, it did some good too. For Instance, When the Europeans settled the Americas, they destroyed the Aztec religion which was even much more bloodthirsty than they were. Moreover we should thank God that the colonists were Christian. If it were the Muslims who colonized America, then the whole Western Hemisphere would be a "shit-hole" like the Middle East and North Africa are today!
The bloodiest of all the mainsream religions is Islam. Their religion calls on them to kill all the infidels. Throughout history they have killed at least 100 million infidels. They also kill each other. The Sunni Cult and Sheite cult have been murdering each other for Centuries, killing at least 70 million Muslims! Today they blow up each other's mosques!

Thank you for explaining. Please see: http://www.skepticsannotatedbible.com/c ... quran.html and http://endgenocide.org/learn/past-genoc ... -americans and https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genocide_ ... us_peoples Thank you.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#265 Postby VINDICATOR » January 24th, 2018, 11:26 am

God vs LGBTQ:
Why did God make so many LGBTQ? (at least 200 million World wide) After making so many LGBTQ, why does he order us to murder them? (see Leviticus 20: 13 etc.) Why doesn't he murder them himself? God didn't bat an eyelash when he murdered the whole Human race in a great flood! Why is he so finnicky about a few LGBTQ?
Wait a minute. God said he made man "in his own image". That means that there is LGBTQ in God's image! Is that why God can't murder them himself and needs our help? Murdering LGBTQs is murdering God's image! But the Ten Commandments forbids murder! If God wants the LGBTQ murdered, then God will have to do it himself!
However, some people, such as Omar Mateen in the "Religion of Peace" try to help God (They call him Allah). The Muslim, Omar Marteen, after praying to Allah, murdered 49 gays at the Pulse gay nightclub in Orlando Florida and wounded 58 others! The Muslims in the middle East kill LGBT by throwing them off the roof tops! Christians don't do that. They just do lip service to God's commands. For this they will be punished in their after-life!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#266 Postby VINDICATOR » January 28th, 2018, 1:11 pm

Are Jews the best businessmen? Take another guess!

A Chinese guy goes into a Jewish store to buy some black bras size 38-D. The Jewish store owner, known for his skill as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and it is very difficult to buy them from his supplier. Therefore he has to charge $50 each. The Chinese guy buys 25 bras.

He returns a few days later to buy another 50 bras. The Jewish owner tells him that it is getting harder and harder to get them so he must charge him $60 each. The chinaman buys them at that price.

The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the remaining stock of 50 bras and is charged $75 each.
The Jew is puzzl;ed by the large demand for black 38-D bras and asks the Chinese guy: "Please tell me what you do with all those black bras?"
The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull-caps to Jewish men for $200 each!"

-------And that is why the Chinese own us!
:hilarity: :hilarity: :hilarity:

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#267 Postby VINDICATOR » January 29th, 2018, 2:01 pm

What was God's gender?

The Church of Sweden just recently decided to degenderize God and hereafter not to refer to God as "he", "him", etc. The Swedes accepted it. But when a woman Pastor in Finland tried to do this it created an uproar! The Pastor Mia Back Justified herself by saying that God created man in his image, both man and woman, so God could be either! I think that Mia's argument is similar to mine. However, I am much more inclusive. I think God has all the LGBTQ traits too because they are all created in the image of GOd. That's not all. Obviously God had all colors of skin from ebony-black to snow-white! If God wasn't a racist, then all the races were made in his image!
Finally, if all the exterrestrial aliens were made in God's image, God would have to have all their attributes too! It's very hard to imagine what God would look like! Wow! If all the animals in the zoo were lumped together into one animal, even then it would be way off the mark!

:hilarity: :hilarity: :hilarity:

Compassionist
Posts: 3288
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#268 Postby Compassionist » January 29th, 2018, 5:56 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:God vs LGBTQ:
Why did God make so many LGBTQ? (at least 200 million World wide) After making so many LGBTQ, why does he order us to murder them? (see Leviticus 20: 13 etc.) Why doesn't he murder them himself? God didn't bat an eyelash when he murdered the whole Human race in a great flood! Why is he so finnicky about a few LGBTQ?
Wait a minute. God said he made man "in his own image". That means that there is LGBTQ in God's image! Is that why God can't murder them himself and needs our help? Murdering LGBTQs is murdering God's image! But the Ten Commandments forbids murder! If God wants the LGBTQ murdered, then God will have to do it himself!
However, some people, such as Omar Mateen in the "Religion of Peace" try to help God (They call him Allah). The Muslim, Omar Marteen, after praying to Allah, murdered 49 gays at the Pulse gay nightclub in Orlando Florida and wounded 58 others! The Muslims in the middle East kill LGBT by throwing them off the roof tops! Christians don't do that. They just do lip service to God's commands. For this they will be punished in their after-life!

People should not kill people. In fact, people should not even kill other sentient organisms. If it were up to me, there would be no suffering and everyone in the omniverse would be omnibenevolent, omniscient and omnipotent and enjoying blissful and eternal harmony together.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#269 Postby VINDICATOR » January 30th, 2018, 4:10 am

Dear Compassionist'
Too bad you can't be God!
I've asked Christians "Why did God let Hitler murder 6 million Jews?" They answer: "Because God gave him free will." I asked again: "Why did God give Hitler the free will to murder the Jews, but didn't give the Jews (who God called his "Chosen People" and had a Covenant with) the free will not to be murdered? Then they curse me for questioning God and say I am going to Hell!
God is crueler than Hitler. Hitler just gassed the Jews to death. God will torture the Jews in Hell for eternity because they didn't worship his son!

Compassionist
Posts: 3288
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#270 Postby Compassionist » January 30th, 2018, 9:32 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Dear Compassionist'
Too bad you can't be God!
I've asked Christians "Why did God let Hitler murder 6 million Jews?" They answer: "Because God gave him free will." I asked again: "Why did God give Hitler the free will to murder the Jews, but didn't give the Jews (who God called his "Chosen People" and had a Covenant with) the free will not to be murdered? Then they curse me for questioning God and say I am going to Hell!
God is crueler than Hitler. Hitler just gassed the Jews to death. God will torture the Jews in Hell for eternity because they didn't worship his son!

We don't have free will. We have constrained will. Our choices are the result of our limited awareness, limited values and limited abilities. Hence our culpability is also limited. However, an omniscient and omnipotent being is also omniculpable. Strictly speaking, I am agnostic about the existence and nature of all deities but I think deities are most likely imaginary.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#271 Postby VINDICATOR » January 31st, 2018, 2:21 pm

Where does religion come from?
Dear Compassionist,
Gods or Deities is a great invention of the Stone Age Pagans, and like the Wheel, which they also invented, is still very important in today's world. Thousands of "Gods" have been worshipped by man down through the ages and even today at least 6 billion people worship one God or another. Whether you like it or not, "normal" people want to worship a God. Those people who don't believe in God are a small "abnormal" minority! I think that the reason has something to do with evolution. Maybe in the next stage of evolution the non-believers will be the norm! No personal God has ever been proven to exist. They are all imaginary. Pantheist "Gods", like Einstein's God, are all hypothetical and cannot be proven either.
So it seems like we do not have free will. Religion is in the genes, the same as the sex urge!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#272 Postby VINDICATOR » February 1st, 2018, 6:11 am

Who is the cruelest, Hitler, Church, or God?

Hitler murdered 6 million Jews with poison gas.
The Church burned to death at the stake at least 10 million Jews, "heretics", and "witches".
God tortures dozens of billions of Jews and other people in his Hell for eternity because they didn't worship his son!
Obviously God gets the Gold Medal for cruelty!

Thank God (sic) for our man-made Constitution which prohibits the use of "Cruel and unusual punishment"! Many secular nations have even abolished the death penalty!

Compassionist
Posts: 3288
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#273 Postby Compassionist » February 1st, 2018, 4:04 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Where does religion come from?
Dear Compassionist,
Gods or Deities is a great invention of the Stone Age Pagans, and like the Wheel, which they also invented, is still very important in today's world. Thousands of "Gods" have been worshipped by man down through the ages and even today at least 6 billion people worship one God or another. Whether you like it or not, "normal" people want to worship a God. Those people who don't believe in God are a small "abnormal" minority! I think that the reason has something to do with evolution. Maybe in the next stage of evolution the non-believers will be the norm! No personal God has ever been proven to exist. They are all imaginary. Pantheist "Gods", like Einstein's God, are all hypothetical and cannot be proven either.
So it seems like we do not have free will. Religion is in the genes, the same as the sex urge!

There is definitely genetic predisposition for religiosity. Our genes, environments, nutrients and experiences make us who we are. A lot of people find comfort in religious beliefs. Others are too scared to leave religion. Few people have the courage to leave the religion they were immersed in from childhood.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#274 Postby VINDICATOR » February 1st, 2018, 7:50 pm

Dear Compassionist,
I'm glad that you agree with me. Yes, the fear of Hell-fire keeps the sheep in the fold. The scientist Pascal was very intelligent, he realized that God was imaginary. However, he was so afraid of going to Hell that he still went to Church and worshipped God anyway. Look up "Pascal's Wager". I call it "buying fire insurance!"
Some religions, like the "Religion of Peace", even commands you to kill anyone who tries to leave the religion. The Muslim population increases very quickly. It is estimated that in the near future,more people will worship Allah than worship God!They are already trying to establish Shariah Law in some European countries that imported huge quantities of Muslims!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#275 Postby VINDICATOR » February 3rd, 2018, 1:18 pm

Was Hitler an Atheist?

One of the most popular weapons in the Theist Armory is that evil men in history, like Hitler, who murdered millions of people, were Atheists. Was murdering the Jews Hitler's own idea? See what Hitler himself said.
Hitler wrote a book "Mein Kampf" (My Struggle). At that time it was the best seller in the Third Reich. Every family had at least one copy. In it he explains why he murdered the Jews. In this "Holy Book" Hitler says: "I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator by defending myself against the Jews. I am fighting for the work of the Lord!"

Stalin is another example of a non-Atheist masquerading as an Atheist. He established his own religion "Stalinism" where he was God and anyone who didn't worship him would be banished to Hell! (The Gulags) Communism was his Heaven where you could enjoy yourself and wouldn't need to go hungry any more! Trotski was the Satan! So you see, his religion was complete with God, Satan, Heaven, and Hell! I wouldn't call him an Atheist just because he didn't worship your God!

Compassionist
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Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#276 Postby Compassionist » February 3rd, 2018, 5:54 pm

Hitler was a Christian. Stalin was an atheist. Both religious and secular people have killed and oppressed millions. Humans can be truly horrific. Humans can also be really wonderful and loving. Each of us must decide where to do good or to do evil. My solution to the problems of life is to live and help live, to live and love. I wish everyone did that. I guarantee that if everyone were to live and help live, the world would be much more full of joy and there would be a lot less suffering.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#277 Postby VINDICATOR » February 4th, 2018, 5:21 am

Compassionist,
It's difficult to distinguish what is a religion and what isn't. Islam is the invention of a guy called Mohammed. Many people say it isn't a religion, it's a social/political system masquerading as a religion. Is Mormon a religion? It was invented by the pedophile Joseph Smith as a ruse so he could have 40 wives! Many people say that Pastafarianism isn't a religion, but they can't prove that it isn't. So more and more people accept it as a religion.
Although most religions have an imaginary God, still there are religions that have real Gods, like Stalinism and Kimism. Stalin and Kim really existed. These two religions are the same as the Christian Church 4 Centuries ago, they will murder anyone who questions their divinity!

Compassionist
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Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#278 Postby Compassionist » February 9th, 2018, 8:12 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Compassionist,
It's difficult to distinguish what is a religion and what isn't. Islam is the invention of a guy called Mohammed. Many people say it isn't a religion, it's a social/political system masquerading as a religion. Is Mormon a religion? It was invented by the pedophile Joseph Smith as a ruse so he could have 40 wives! Many people say that Pastafarianism isn't a religion, but they can't prove that it isn't. So more and more people accept it as a religion.
Although most religions have an imaginary God, still there are religions that have real Gods, like Stalinism and Kimism. Stalin and Kim really existed. These two religions are the same as the Christian Church 4 Centuries ago, they will murder anyone who questions their divinity!

People have done terrible things in the name of religion or politics. I hope that we will all learn to live and help live, to live and love.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#279 Postby VINDICATOR » February 10th, 2018, 4:23 am

Compassionist,
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that all Atheists are good, or all theists are bad. however, bad Atheists often use religion as a ruse to do evil, because it's so easy to fool people into doing evil when you use the ruse of religion to blind them to reason! Religion is a powerful weapon to do evil with!

Compassionist
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Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#280 Postby Compassionist » February 10th, 2018, 11:23 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Compassionist,
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that all Atheists are good, or all theists are bad. however, bad Atheists often use religion as a ruse to do evil, because it's so easy to fool people into doing evil when you use the ruse of religion to blind them to reason! Religion is a powerful weapon to do evil with!

Yes, religions have been used to justify mass murders and oppression. Religions can also be a force for good.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 436
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#281 Postby VINDICATOR » February 10th, 2018, 1:38 pm

Dear Compassionist,
We seem to agree most of the time. Yes, I agree that there are two types of religion. There is the "friendly" type, such as MODERN Christianity, which does more good than bad. I put modern in capitals to accent it, because 4 Centuries ago the Church was even more evil than Hitler! The Christian Church does a lot of charity work today. I know because I actually took part in some of the activities of the Salvation Army. However, the greatestest thing that the Church ever did was to colonize the American continent. If they had allowed Islam to colonize the New World, then the whole western hemisphere would be a shit-hole like the MIddle East and North Africa are today! Christianity evolved from the evil monster of the Inquisition to the friendly religion compatible with secularism that we see today. Most religions today are compatible with secularism. However, there is one "religion" that will never be compatible, ie. Islam! The problem with Islam is that it is a political system masquerading as a religion. They aren't contented to just control your after-life, they want to establish a world wide Kalifate to rule the World by Shariah Law today! A true Muslim cannot be assimilated into a secular society because he must obey Shariah Law which is in contradiction to almost all the laws of a secular state! Have you ever studied Shariah Law? Get a copy of the original, not a taqiyya (diluted) version used to fool Infidels!


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