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God was a Jew and other jokes

Enter here for humour and irreverence.
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Compassionist
Posts: 3350
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#461 Postby Compassionist » March 20th, 2019, 1:11 pm

Latest post of the previous page:

VINDICATOR wrote:DearCompassionist,
So you are one of the very few who has escaped the shackles of Islam! Have they put out a Fatwa squad to terminate you? Does it worry you so that you have to be on the alert at all times? Tell us about it!
You say you are the only one in your religious outlook. Thomas Jefferson said that he was a "Sect of One" When he rewrote the Bible. (see my posts on Jefferson and the Bible he rewrote)

You say there doesn't have to be a "contest" but there is, and we can't close our eyes and let itl "disappear"! One very important contest is about Noah's Ark. The Evangelists spent over $100 million (including tax money they didn't pay) to build the Noah's Ark in Kentucky to lure gullible children to believe in the Bible. The story of Noah's Ark is actually one of the silliest in the Bible. God wiped out the whole human race in a great flood saving just 8 Jews on the Ark (Noah, 3 sons and their wives) to repopulate the World. Thus, according to the Bible, everyone on Earth is a Jew including you and me and all the Blacks who haven't realized it yet! Imagine how many starving children could have been saved from starvation with that money! For other jokes about the Ark, see my corresponding posts.

I had one death threat ten years ago and several visits (over eleven years ago) by people from the mosque trying to persuade me to return to Islam. Last year, another Muslim tried to persuade me to go to the local mosque but I gently informed him that I didn't pray and it would be pointless for me to go to the mosque. No Fatwas against me yet. I know many good Muslims who do good deeds and don't persecute or kill others. The Christians also tried many tactics to make me return to Christianity but I am still an agnostic humanist. Which particular post about Jefferson and the Bible are you referring to? I found several posts. Yes, it is a waste of resources to build Noah's Ark. One could argue that all religious buildings are a waste of resources but the religious people consider them to be worth building and maintaining and have spent a lot of time, money, resources and effort on building and maintaining these buildings over the last 200,000 years. Although secularism is on the rise, religions are not going to vanish overnight. Most religious people and most secular people are good people. It's only a small minority who commit atrocities.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#462 Postby VINDICATOR » March 21st, 2019, 2:52 pm

Hi Compassionist,
Sorry I'm so late with this reply. I was very busy today. I'm glad you escaped the Fatwa so we can meet on this Forum!
Everybody, including jihadists, were created good. It's the indoctrination that makes them a beast. If you consider Boko Haram, ISIS, Taliban, etc. as non-Islam, then Islam is a nice religion too. But you would then have to agree that KKK, The Peoples Temple, The organization that burned 12 million people at the stake in the Inquisition and Witch Hunts, The Lord's Resistance Army, etc. are non-Christian too.
Thomas Jefferson was a Christian but he said the Bible is all wrong. God did not do all those nasty things that the Bible blames him for like wiping out the whole human race in a great flood! He also said Jesus was not a magician who could raise people from the dead, walk on water, turn water into wine, etc. He said Jesus was a teacher of human morality. So he rewrote the Bible entitled: "The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth" taking out all the magic (miracles) and other garbage. You can get a copy from Amazon. People said he was not a Christian. He answered saying: "I'm a Sect of One!" That's why I call you "A Sect of One!"

Compassionist
Posts: 3350
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#463 Postby Compassionist » March 21st, 2019, 7:59 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Hi Compassionist,
Sorry I'm so late with this reply. I was very busy today. I'm glad you escaped the Fatwa so we can meet on this Forum!
Everybody, including jihadists, were created good. It's the indoctrination that makes them a beast. If you consider Boko Haram, ISIS, Taliban, etc. as non-Islam, then Islam is a nice religion too. But you would then have to agree that KKK, The Peoples Temple, The organization that burned 12 million people at the stake in the Inquisition and Witch Hunts, The Lord's Resistance Army, etc. are non-Christian too.
Thomas Jefferson was a Christian but he said the Bible is all wrong. God did not do all those nasty things that the Bible blames him for like wiping out the whole human race in a great flood! He also said Jesus was not a magician who could raise people from the dead, walk on water, turn water into wine, etc. He said Jesus was a teacher of human morality. So he rewrote the Bible entitled: "The Life and Morals of Jesus of Nazareth" taking out all the magic (miracles) and other garbage. You can get a copy from Amazon. People said he was not a Christian. He answered saying: "I'm a Sect of One!" That's why I call you "A Sect of One!"

No apology is needed for the delay with replying. I never had a Fatwa against me so I didn't escape any Fatwa. Although, in the future, I may get Fatwas against me. In any case, I am always ready for suffering and death. Please see: viewtopic.php?f=41&t=7517 Thanks for telling me about the Bible Thomas Jefferson wrote. I am not convinced that we were created good or evil. We evolved and were not created at all. Our choices are the determined by the interactions of our genes, environments, nutrients and experiences. We are not free from causality. From conception to death - we are prisoners of causality.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#464 Postby VINDICATOR » March 22nd, 2019, 5:58 pm

Hi Compassionist,
Sorry again for the delay again created by certain difficulties.
I don't think I can get "viewtopic" on my computer, only "http".
I like your quote: "We are prisoners of causality!" This is a very important question. How can highly conscient animals like us humans be created by natural laws of the universe (evolution) and not by a "God"? (causality) This is one of the questions that bewilders me too and that is why I am not a hard-core Atheist! The complexity of our DNA just happening by natural laws is mind-boggling. Stephan Hawking and Einstein all have have discussed this question. I tend toward Einstein's solution. He was a Pantheist of the Spinoza school. He didn't outright deny a "God" but his God has nothing to do with those "Gods" created by the Bronze-age Pagans made in the image of a human tyrant sitting on a throne demandig that we worship him or go to Hell! (See my corresponding posts on Einstein's God.) The gist of it is that God and the universe are one. The true Bible is the Laws of Nature including logic, mathematics, gravity, etc. He even personally wrote a chapter in this Bible entitled "The theory of Relativity"!
What is "good"? What is "bad"? Have you ever raised cats? When I was young I raised a cat that had a brood of kittens. She would spend her time feeding them with her milk, licking them to keep them clean, herding them back when they wandered away, and purring away all the time showing how happy she was to take care of them! That is "mother love". All mammals have this trait. It's absolutely nescessary. Any breed of mammal without this trait would automatically become extinct! So it comes by instinct for all mammals including us. Where does instinct come from? Certainly not from the Bible!

Compassionist
Posts: 3350
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#465 Postby Compassionist » March 22nd, 2019, 6:50 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Hi Compassionist,
Sorry again for the delay again created by certain difficulties.
I don't think I can get "viewtopic" on my computer, only "http".
I like your quote: "We are prisoners of causality!" This is a very important question. How can highly conscient animals like us humans be created by natural laws of the universe (evolution) and not by a "God"? (causality) This is one of the questions that bewilders me too and that is why I am not a hard-core Atheist! The complexity of our DNA just happening by natural laws is mind-boggling. Stephan Hawking and Einstein all have have discussed this question. I tend toward Einstein's solution. He was a Pantheist of the Spinoza school. He didn't outright deny a "God" but his God has nothing to do with those "Gods" created by the Bronze-age Pagans made in the image of a human tyrant sitting on a throne demandig that we worship him or go to Hell! (See my corresponding posts on Einstein's God.) The gist of it is that God and the universe are one. The true Bible is the Laws of Nature including logic, mathematics, gravity, etc. He even personally wrote a chapter in this Bible entitled "The theory of Relativity"!
What is "good"? What is "bad"? Have you ever raised cats? When I was young I raised a cat that had a brood of kittens. She would spend her time feeding them with her milk, licking them to keep them clean, herding them back when they wandered away, and purring away all the time showing how happy she was to take care of them! That is "mother love". All mammals have this trait. It's absolutely nescessary. Any breed of mammal without this trait would automatically become extinct! So it comes by instinct for all mammals including us. Where does instinct come from? Certainly not from the Bible!

I am sorry that you couldn't view the link on your computer. Please search for How to Live a Fulfilling Life on the search bar of this forum. Also, once you are done reading that please search for 15 issues with Christianity on the search bar of this forum. I think our DNA is totally a product of evolution. “The genomes of complex creatures reveal a lack of any intelligence or foresight. Your DNA consists of millions of defunct copies of parasitic DNA. The inescapable conclusion is that if life was designed, the designer was lazy, stupid and cruel.” – Michael Le Page,‘New Scientist', vol 198 No 2652, 19 April 2008, page 26. We are not designed - we evolved in an indifferent reality which doesn't care about our suffering and death. That is why our DNA is so messed up.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#466 Postby VINDICATOR » March 23rd, 2019, 11:36 am

Dear Compassionist,
The competition between religion and atheism today has two main battlefields, eg. evolution vs. creation, and Big Bang vs. creation. The fundamental weakness of the religious camp is that they can't agree on which God did it since Each religion says that only their God is the true God, everyone else's God is a fake! As for the Big Bang, they say that something can not be created from nothing so that disproves the Big Bang. However, if you ask them "Who created God?" They will say that "God was not created, he existed before the universe.' Then I point out that time only exists in a universe. Therefor the statement "Before the universe" has no meaning. Space also is an attribute of the universe and the statement ""outside the universe" is also meaningless. That disproves God QED!

Compassionist
Posts: 3350
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#467 Postby Compassionist » March 23rd, 2019, 7:47 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Dear Compassionist,
The competition between religion and atheism today has two main battlefields, eg. evolution vs. creation, and Big Bang vs. creation. The fundamental weakness of the religious camp is that they can't agree on which God did it since Each religion says that only their God is the true God, everyone else's God is a fake! As for the Big Bang, they say that something can not be created from nothing so that disproves the Big Bang. However, if you ask them "Who created God?" They will say that "God was not created, he existed before the universe.' Then I point out that time only exists in a universe. Therefor the statement "Before the universe" has no meaning. Space also is an attribute of the universe and the statement ""outside the universe" is also meaningless. That disproves God QED!

I see your logic. It's possible for God or Gods to exist outside this universe. It's possible that there are an infinite number of universes in the omniverse. It's also possible that only I am real and all else is just a perceptual illusion experienced by me. All I have is qualia. How can I truly know what is real? It is impossible to prove or disprove solipsism. Let's say that I have faith that all living and non-living things are saved forever by my unconditional faith, hope and love. It's possible that I really am the Omnibenevolent Omnisaviour of the Omniverse. It's also possible that I am just a human who is thinking about what is real and how we can know for sure. According to the many worlds interpretation of quantum mechanics everything happens somewhere in the omniverse which consists of an infinite number of universes. I am agnostic regarding the ultimate nature of reality and regarding the existence and nature of all gods. Given all the suffering and injustice life consists of, gods are either imaginary or evil. Logically speaking, God's omniscience and omnipotence makes God omniculpable. Please search for Being Prisoners of Causality on the search bar of this forum and read my post. Thank you.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#468 Postby VINDICATOR » March 24th, 2019, 6:55 pm

Dear Compassionist,
One of the fundamental Laws of our Universe is "Logic". There are billions of people like us on our planet.There are billions of "Earths" (exoplanets similar to Earth that could spawn sentient creatures like us) in our Milky Way Galaxy. There are also billions of galaxies in "our" universe. Any solopsist who thinks he/she is the only one existing is surely too conceited! Even the Vatican agrees that we humans are not alone in the universe! As for other universes, yes, there are "Multi-verse' hypotheses. However, they would not nescessarily be the same as our universe. Maybe they have 4 dimensions of space, etc. and other characteristics that we would consider wierd! However, everything that exists would have to exist within some universe, I don't believe that anything exists outside of a universe!
I have read some of your posts like how to live a fulfilling life. I believe that you are a Prophet and are a "Sect of One" and could start a new religion. It seems similar to Buddhism where you probably got the inspiration! Maybe I will join you for a Sect of Two!

Compassionist
Posts: 3350
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#469 Postby Compassionist » March 24th, 2019, 11:27 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Dear Compassionist,
One of the fundamental Laws of our Universe is "Logic". There are billions of people like us on our planet.There are billions of "Earths" (exoplanets similar to Earth that could spawn sentient creatures like us) in our Milky Way Galaxy. There are also billions of galaxies in "our" universe. Any solopsist who thinks he/she is the only one existing is surely too conceited! Even the Vatican agrees that we humans are not alone in the universe! As for other universes, yes, there are "Multi-verse' hypotheses. However, they would not nescessarily be the same as our universe. Maybe they have 4 dimensions of space, etc. and other characteristics that we would consider wierd! However, everything that exists would have to exist within some universe, I don't believe that anything exists outside of a universe!
I have read some of your posts like how to live a fulfilling life. I believe that you are a Prophet and are a "Sect of One" and could start a new religion. It seems similar to Buddhism where you probably got the inspiration! Maybe I will join you for a Sect of Two!

I am not actually a solipsist. I am just aware that there are hypotheses which can't be tested e.g. solipsism hypothesis, simulation hypothesis, multiverse hypothesis, omnisaviour hypothesis, etc. All we have are qualia. I have no intention of starting a new religion. There are lots of self-contradictory and mutually contradictory religions on Earth already. Yes, I am certainly influenced by Jainism and Buddhism.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#470 Postby VINDICATOR » March 25th, 2019, 4:47 am

Dear Compassionist,
Yes, it's very difficult to prove anything to the satisfaction of everyone. For instance God believers think that they've proven God exists! However, we think that God and Santa Claus are on the same level of believability! it's even more difficult to prove that something doesn't exist. For instance Bertrand Russel said that there is a pot of tea circling the sun and defies you to disprove it! The religious are at an advantage because they believe in magic (miracles), therefore nothing is impossible for them. We who believe only in the Laws of Nature are at a disadvantage!

Compassionist
Posts: 3350
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#471 Postby Compassionist » March 26th, 2019, 9:58 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Dear Compassionist,
Yes, it's very difficult to prove anything to the satisfaction of everyone. For instance God believers think that they've proven God exists! However, we think that God and Santa Claus are on the same level of believability! it's even more difficult to prove that something doesn't exist. For instance Bertrand Russel said that there is a pot of tea circling the sun and defies you to disprove it! The religious are at an advantage because they believe in magic (miracles), therefore nothing is impossible for them. We who believe only in the Laws of Nature are at a disadvantage!

It is impossible to prove the non-existence of anything. Is there a Big Foot living in the Himalayas? May be. We just haven't found one yet. Are there aliens in this universe? May be. We just haven't found them yet because the universe is so big and we have only been to our moon, never mind all the galaxies and all the solar systems in those galaxies.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#472 Postby VINDICATOR » March 26th, 2019, 2:06 pm

Dear Compassionist,
Where were you living when you were a Muslim? How did you escape? Did you hear about the 2 sisters who escaped from the "Islamic prison of Saudi Arabia"? You can find the story on CNN and other media. They spent 6 months dodging the Islamic police in Hong Kong! You know of course that they would probably be stoned to death if they were caught and returned to Saudi. Remember what happened to that poor man they captured in the Saudi Embassy in Turkey! They used a bone saw to cut him into mince-meat! You're very lucky to get off so easily! You should keep looking over your shoulder just to be on the safe side!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#473 Postby VINDICATOR » March 28th, 2019, 11:41 am

Is Brunei an Islam Nation?
I just saw on CNN (where I get most of my news) that Brunei, which already was under Shariah Law, is going to tighten the screws to strict Shariah. Stoning to death is now the punishment for practicing LGBT! Also, for minor sins, limbs will be amputated! Come on, now, apologists, say that Brunei isn't an Islam Nation! You British who are importing huge quantities of Muslims better prepare yourself for the day they take over and establish Shariah Law! You already have hundreds of Shariah Courts in England, Presently they are using a Hasbara version of Shariah but they will tighten the screws when their time comes!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#474 Postby VINDICATOR » March 31st, 2019, 12:05 pm

Hey Compassionist, where are you? Did the International Shariah Police get you? I warned you to keep looking over your shoulder!
Brunei is not the only Country under Sharia Law, there are about 57 Shariah Countries. However, most of them have a more lenient version of Shariah Law at present. I think Brunei is the only one with strict Shariah where the punishment for breaking Shariah Law includes stoning to death and amputation. Even guilty children are so punished, they are given no compassion! Other Shariah Countries like Indonesia and Malasia and Pakistan etc. have hanging and "caning" at most. However, they will also tighten the screws when the time comes!
I think Brits have enough to worry about over Brexit today, and won't have time to worry about Shariah until it breaks on them like Brexit did!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#475 Postby VINDICATOR » April 2nd, 2019, 3:49 pm

Hassanal Bolkiah, the Islamic Dictator of Bernei, who has just ratcheted up the Shariah Law to stone to death the LGBT, has amassed $20 billion in personal wealth! Btw, Most people don't realize that Iran executed at least 6000 LGBT in 50 years of Shariah. The ISIS just threw the LGBT off the roof-tops! Why do the Muslims hate the LGBT? It's God (Allah) who orders them to do so in the Quran. Although modern Christians don't do this, Their God in the Bible told them to kill the LGBT too1 They don't realize this because they don't read the Bible, whereas Muslims must recite the Quran 5 times every day! Christians just give lip-service to their God! Do you know where to find this in the Bible? See my post about Turing here on this Forum.
Whoa! Christians have been cruel to the LGBT too. The English mathematical genius Alan Turing, who broke the Nazi code in WWII resulting in saving at least 2 million lives and shortening the war by 2 years, was forced to commit suicide because he was Gay! That is one of the nastiest things England ever did! (Yes, even nastier than Brexit!) Islam and Christianity--the Pot and the Kettle!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#476 Postby VINDICATOR » April 5th, 2019, 7:20 pm

Bible versus Quran:
There are dozens of verses in the Bible ordering you to murder innocent people for everything from being bald to not being a virgin! If you can't find it then here are 2 verses to murder gays: Leviticus 20:13 and Romans 1: 24-32.
The following is from CNN:
There are 70 Countries where LGBT is a crime. In 7 of them the punishment is the death penalty. In another 5 death is a possibility.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#477 Postby VINDICATOR » April 6th, 2019, 4:10 pm

Reading the Bible is a "must" for all Atheists! It will strengthen your ideology! However, there is a lot of garbage there which makes reading it too boring. here's some good news, all those passages such as ordering you to murder innocent people and much more have been separated from the chaff and can be found at the following website:
http//.www.evilbible.com/

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#478 Postby VINDICATOR » April 6th, 2019, 4:19 pm

correction: The wbsite should be Http://www.evilbible.com/

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#479 Postby VINDICATOR » April 6th, 2019, 4:23 pm

Sorry again. The website should be:
http://www.evilbible.com/

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#480 Postby VINDICATOR » April 10th, 2019, 5:46 am

WOW!
I just saw on Irish Central News that the Archbishop of Dublin, Diarmud Martin, told an Irish TV documentary on Church abuse that there were hundreds of pedophiles in the Church! He stated that so many children were abused that some of the pedophile priests responsible do not even remember who their victims were! Don't take my word for it, look it up on the following website:
http://www.irishcentral.com/
The Church in Ireland is in a state of "Reformation"!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 582
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#481 Postby VINDICATOR » April 10th, 2019, 6:04 am

Wow!
I misquoted the Arcbishop. HE SAID THAT THERE WERE HUNDREDS OF PEDOPHILE PRIESTS IN THE iRISH CHURCH ALONE! Imagine how many that would be when extrapolated to the whole World!
Try that Website!


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