INFORMATION

This website uses cookies to store information on your computer. Some of these cookies are essential to make our site work and others help us to improve by giving us some insight into how the site is being used. For further information, see our Privacy Policy. Continuing to use this website is acceptance of these cookies.

interesting thoughts

Enter here for humour and irreverence.
Post Reply
Message
Author
User avatar
Justme
Posts: 348
Joined: August 30th, 2013, 3:03 pm

interesting thoughts

#1 Post by Justme » September 1st, 2013, 3:59 am

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

War does not determine who is right -- only who is left.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Hate, the offspring of fear cannot exist where understanding reigns supreme

lewist
Posts: 4402
Joined: July 4th, 2007, 8:53 pm

Re: interesting thoughts

#2 Post by lewist » September 1st, 2013, 8:06 am

Money doesn't buy you friends, but it sure gets you a better class of enemy. (Spike Milligan)
Carpe diem. Savour every moment.

User avatar
jaywhat
Posts: 15807
Joined: July 5th, 2007, 5:53 pm

Re: interesting thoughts

#3 Post by jaywhat » October 13th, 2013, 6:28 am

Money can't buy you friends; it can get you a richer enemy. (Me)

Nick
Posts: 11027
Joined: July 4th, 2007, 10:10 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#4 Post by Nick » October 15th, 2013, 3:59 pm

"Being rich is better than being poor. If only for financial reasons. " Woody Allen.

User avatar
Dave B
Posts: 17809
Joined: May 17th, 2010, 9:15 pm

Re: interesting thoughts

#5 Post by Dave B » October 15th, 2013, 5:16 pm

"Better keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than open it and remove all doubt."

Denis Thatcher
"Look forward; yesterday was a lesson, if you did not learn from it you wasted it."
Me, 2015

Jim
Posts: 25
Joined: October 2nd, 2012, 3:01 pm

Re: interesting thoughts

#6 Post by Jim » October 15th, 2013, 5:46 pm

The opposite of hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
JMHO, but then I can communicate when people begin to overstay their welcome. (Or maybe I just have brighter friends :-)

User avatar
draykorinee
Posts: 245
Joined: September 21st, 2013, 11:10 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#7 Post by draykorinee » October 15th, 2013, 5:50 pm

Stupid is as stupid does - Forrest Gump.
sanctimonious
ˌsaŋ(k)tɪˈməʊnɪəs/Submit
adjectivederogatory
1.
making a show of being morally superior to other people.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#8 Post by VINDICATOR » January 19th, 2017, 11:19 am

"O Ho!" Said the pot to the kettle.
"You are dirty and filthy and black.
No one would think you were metal
unless you were given a crack!"

"Not so not so" kettle cried to the pot.
"It's your own dirty image you see.
For I am so clean without blemish or blot
that your blackness is mirrored in me!"
:laughter:

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#9 Post by VINDICATOR » January 23rd, 2017, 12:53 am

Mark Twaine says:
Of the delights of this world man cares most for sexual intercourse, yet he has left it out of his heaven!!!!
:hilarity:

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#10 Post by VINDICATOR » January 30th, 2017, 2:16 pm

God, Devil, Heaven, Hell. Four great inventions of the Stone-age!
These 4 inventions have influenced humanity more than any other invention such as the wheel, fire, writing, etc. They played the principle part in influencing the course of human events. Even today they are the basic force regulating the activities of at least 95% of the human race! They should be posthumously awarded the Nobel Prize for the greatest influence on human activity! Here are some samples:
1- Stalin knew their value, so he established the religion of Stalinism with himself as God! Anyone who didn't worship him was banished to Hell (the Gulags). Trotski was the Devil, and "Communism“ the Heaven! He murdered more "heretics" than the Inquisition did!
2-Christians have been indoctrinated with the fear of Hell from birth. Even some great men like Pascal Who didn't believe in religion was so afraid of going to hell that he he worshipped anyway just to be sure of not going to hell! His motto was "better to be safe than sorry"!
3-Christians are not interested in heaven. In Heaven there is no dining and wining and laying. You have to sing Hossanahs to a narcissistic God 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. (There is no Sabbath or labor unions there.) Their motivation is fear of going to Hell, just like Pascal!
4-Islam, on the contrary, is Heaven oriented, you dine, wine and lay! if you do something great for Islam, like blowing yourself up in a crowd of women and children yelling "Allah is Great", then you are rewarded with 72 beautiful virgins in Heaven to keep you ecstatic! If I was shopping for a religion, I would buy Islam and not Christianity!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#11 Post by VINDICATOR » February 4th, 2017, 11:52 am

Why do people pray?
There are 3 principle reasons:
1-They need something and ask God to give it to them.
2- To praise God.
3-They have troubles and need a "Father" to confide in.

When you ask God for something, God has 3 standard answers: Yes, No, and Wait! When compared with the results when you don't pray, the probability is exactly the same! Why? Very simple, God is your Master and not your servant! Why should he go out of his way to do something for you?
God is jealous (he said so himself) and very narcissistic. The only reason God made man is because he needed people to worship him! When you praise him in prayer, he knows that he didn't create you in vain!
Only the third group benefits from prayer. For them, any "God" is sufficient, some religions have trees, rocks, rivers, etc. for Gods. The cock crows "Cock-a-doodle-doo". For them it's: "Any-God-will-do!"

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#12 Post by VINDICATOR » February 5th, 2017, 4:45 am

A complement to my post:
For those that need to pray:
The rooster says "Cock-a-doodle-doo". Uncle Sam says: "Yankee-doodle-doo". The call girl says: “Any-cock'll-do". The "need to pray" says "any-God'll do!"
Hey, can someone make a limerik out of this?

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#13 Post by VINDICATOR » April 21st, 2017, 6:09 am

Do you need a "God-mother"?
Why is religion so tenacious? In this modern age, any reasonable adult knows that religion is silly. The Bible,(and any other "Word of God) is chock full of crazy magic, like Joshua making the sun and moon stand still in the sky! How can billions of people believe in such hog-wash? You will find hundreds of such acts of magic in the Bible. Any reasonable person would agree with Einstein when he called the Bible "A book of fairy tales!" This is proof that man is imperfect. Man needs a God to rely on, just as a child needs a mother. That's what Voltaire meant when he said, "If there was no God we would have to invent one!" God is like Santa Claus, when you grow up you should discard him. Religious people never grow up. Only Atheists grow up, so we don't need a "God-mother"!

User avatar
animist
Posts: 6521
Joined: July 30th, 2010, 11:36 pm

Re: interesting thoughts

#14 Post by animist » April 22nd, 2017, 9:51 am

VINDICATOR wrote:"O Ho!" Said the pot to the kettle.
"You are dirty and filthy and black.
No one would think you were metal
unless you were given a crack!"

"Not so not so" kettle cried to the pot.
"It's your own dirty image you see.
For I am so clean without blemish or blot
that your blackness is mirrored in me!"
:laughter:
wonderful - do you know who wrote this? BTW, Vinnie, this site does not have a Like button, so the absence of evidence here that your many funny posts are not appreciated is not evidence of absence - if you get my drift.

User avatar
animist
Posts: 6521
Joined: July 30th, 2010, 11:36 pm

Re: interesting thoughts

#15 Post by animist » April 22nd, 2017, 9:57 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Do you need a "God-mother"?
Why is religion so tenacious? In this modern age, any reasonable adult knows that religion is silly. The Bible,(and any other "Word of God) is chock full of crazy magic, like Joshua making the sun and moon stand still in the sky! How can billions of people believe in such hog-wash? You will find hundreds of such acts of magic in the Bible. Any reasonable person would agree with Einstein when he called the Bible "A book of fairy tales!" This is proof that man is imperfect. Man needs a God to rely on, just as a child needs a mother. That's what Voltaire meant when he said, "If there was no God we would have to invent one!" God is like Santa Claus, when you grow up you should discard him. Religious people never grow up. Only Atheists grow up, so we don't need a "God-mother"!
it's hard to grow up and know that you''ll never see your loved ones again, so your question is easily answered in terms of natural human feeling. I would love to see my parents again, but in a way I feel that this would desecrate how I felt and now remember them to have been when they were alive: they would simply be repeating the mundane activities they practised while on Earth, and what a mockery of reality this would be!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#16 Post by VINDICATOR » April 23rd, 2017, 2:14 pm

Hi Animist,
Yes, when I asked my Christian friends why they want to go to heaven, I have often heard them reply that they want to see their parents etc. that died. However, the Bible (see Mathew 22:30) says clearly that there is no family in heaven, you become a sexless angel in a Hossanah Choir singing praises to God throughout eternity! If I were betting with my afterlife I would convert to Islam. You get 72 beautiful virgins for sex slaves to give you bliss! That's why Islam can recruit so many non-Muslims to be Jihadists, whereas the Christian Church is on it's last legs. Ireland is shutting down their Churches because they are running out of Priests! (They can't get their alter-boys anymore!)

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#17 Post by VINDICATOR » April 24th, 2017, 6:22 am

Hi Animist,
Yeah, it would be nice if we had an up/down vote button. However, I probably have as much fun writing these posts as you have reading them! It also is a place where I can rant my observations and views and maybe leave a small footprint or two! Maria made a big footprint with her article on the Golden Rule!

Longfellow said:
"Lives of great men oft' remind us, we can make our lives sublime, and departing leave behind us Footprints on the Sands of Time!"

VINDICATOR
Posts: 593
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: interesting thoughts

#18 Post by VINDICATOR » May 4th, 2017, 1:05 pm

What is money?
In temple or Church, it's called donation。
In school, it's fee.
In marriage it's called dowry.
In divorce, alimony.
When you owe it, it's debt.
When you pay the government, it's tax.
In court, it's fines.
Civil servant retirees, it's pension.
Employer to worker, it's salary.
Master to subordinates, it's wages.
To children, it's allowance.

When you borrow from a bank, it's loan.
When you offer after a good service, it's tips.
To kidnappers it's ransome.
Illegally received, it's a bribe.

Now the question is, "When a husband gives it to his wife, what do we call it???"

Answer: Money given to your wife is called DUTY, and every man has to do his duty because wives are not DUTY FREE!
:laughter: :laughter:

Post Reply