I want to thank Lord Muck oGentry for bringing this important story to our attention. I find it very suspicious that the major news media have chosen to conceal this information. This is clear evidence of a coverup [--][/--] certainly involving the government, but given that this is apparently a worldwide phenomenon (see the French data referenced under "Relevant Articles"), we must recognize the possibility that international agencies such as Illuminati or Al Qaeda might be involved as well.
As for
why this ground-breaking research is being suppressed, we need look no further than the authors' own analysis:
We propose a somewhat more speculative theory (with apologies to Douglas Adams and Veet Voojagig). Somewhere in the cosmos, along with all the planets inhabited by humanoids, reptiloids, walking treeoids, and superintelligent shades of the colour blue, a planet is entirely given over to spoon life-forms. Unattended spoons make their way to this planet, slipping away through space to a world where they enjoy a uniquely spoonoid lifestyle, responding to highly spoon oriented stimuli, and generally leading the spoon equivalent of the good life.
Clearly, it is the Spoons themselves that have the most to gain by keeping their peripatetic capabilities from being widely known. We must assume that many of these sentient Spoons have infiltrated the aforementioned organizations and have risen to positions of high authority. How they could have accomplished this is impossible to say. They may merely be masters of disguise, or they may have shapeshifting or mass-hypnotic powers. We can only be alert for any evidence of spoon-like behaviour and cognition: tendencies to nestle together or "spoon", a predilection for Spoonerisms, antipathy for forks and other rival cutlery.
The Spoons will fight back, no doubt. They will try to dismiss the Lim study as inconsequential (as has already been done here on this very forum
), or will propose far-fetched alternative explanations. One argument that will undoubtedly be tried is the counterclaim that the missing Spoons were stolen by staff. They will point to the retrieval of a mere five spoons to support this theory, ignoring the fact that this accounts for less than ten percent of the observed loss, and that it assumes a widespread conspiracy among office staff to steal and/or hoard Spoons. (And notice the narcissistic assumption that Spoons are so attractive and valuable to humans that we would be inclined to this behaviour.)
We must be vigilent. We must demand the truth. We must not be silenced.
Ah-HAH!!! I knew it! Consider yourself "outed"!
