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God was a Jew and other jokes

Enter here for humour and irreverence.
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VINDICATOR
Posts: 495
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#421 Postby VINDICATOR » November 4th, 2018, 10:57 am

Latest post of the previous page:

If you think that you can assimilate the Muslims then you have another think coming! We are the ones who are slowly but surely being assimilated! Take a look at what is happening to the ECHR, The European Court of Human Rights that used to be on our side:
On Oct. 25, the ECHR announced that Frau S. was guilty of "inciting religious hatred" when she called Mohammed a pedophile for marrying a 6 year old girl (Aishah). In contrast, on July 17, the ECHR denounced Russia for convicting the "Pussy Riot Band" for inciting religious hatred by staging a performance of "Punk Prayer" in Moscow's Christ the Savior Cathedral! In other words, the ECHR prohibits insulting Islam, but condones insulting Christianity!
Hurry up and get used to eating "Halil meat" and loudspeakers blaring out to you to come and prostrate yourself to Allah 5 times a day! Do you have legal problems? Take them to the local Shariah Court!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 495
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#422 Postby VINDICATOR » November 6th, 2018, 11:54 am

What happens when a country goes Islam? Take a look at Pakistan:
8 years ago in Pakistan, a Christian woman, Asia Bibi, was working with some Muslim women. When she handed them a bowl of water they refused to drink it because they said it was touched by a non-Muslim! So they got into an argument. Then the Women reported Bibi to the police for "blasphemy" which calls for the death-sentence! So Bibi was sentenced to hang in 2010! She appealed for 8 years and finally was commuted last Friday. But then hundreds of thousands of Muslims took to the streets in violent demonstrations all over Pakistan demanding death for Bibi! So Bibi can't leave the prison or she'll be murdered! ie. she's been sentenced to life in prison by the people!
Now take a look at the US. We have given asylum to millions of illegal aliens who call themselves "refugees", but they are actually just here to "milk the American cow" getting free food, free medical care, free education, etc. paid for by the taxpayers. What's funny is that all Americans (except Trump) welcome them! However, The USA and UK refuse asylum for bona fida refugees seeking asylum including Asia Bibi and family!
Also, in Pakistan 8000 girls are murdered annually for refusing to marry the man who "bought " her. It's called "honor killing"!
Pakistan is also the sanctuary for the Taliban who shot Malala in the head because she championed education for girls.
The most frightening thing about Pakistan is that it has nukes. Maybe they will nuke the next "Charlie Hebdo"! Are you prepared??

VINDICATOR
Posts: 495
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#423 Postby VINDICATOR » November 10th, 2018, 1:11 pm

OK, That's enough on the Muslims. Christianity is just as funny if not more-so! Here's a joke from the Irish Central:
In Northern Ireland, a woman who has been raped and tries to get an abortion can get a longer prison sentence than the rapist! You can thank the Catholic Church for that joke.
In the US many doctors that perform abortions have been murdered!
This is all very "funny" because the Church says that abortion is "murder". When God murdered the whole human race in a Great Flood, he murdered hundreds of millions of women and children and babies. Millions of pregnant women were murdered including the fetuses they were carrying. When God does the murdering that's fine!
The Church murdered at least 12 million people by burning at the stake in the Inquisition, Witch-Hunts, etc. When the Church does it, that's fine too!
But wait. The Bible says that you were alive even before conception. That means that birth control is also murder!
There are tens of thousands of children all over the World who starve to death every year. I call this "abortion after birth" which is OK. Birth control would have prevented this but that is counter protocol and a sin!
BTW, is Northern Ireland part of the UK or does it belong to EU? What happens to it after Brexit?

VINDICATOR
Posts: 495
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#424 Postby VINDICATOR » November 12th, 2018, 11:06 am

When I studied German in my school-days, our teacher encouraged us to learn by telling us jokes in German. He said, "German is very easy to learn. I will tell you a joke in German and smile if you get it and frown if you don't."
Then he told this joke. Smile if you get it!
First part in English: There was a man who got home very late every day. He would lie on his bed and take off his big shoes one at a time and drop them on the floor one at a time: Bang!---Bang! Then he would go to sleep.
The man living on the floor below liked to go to sleep early, but kept being woke up every night by the shoes banging on the floor one at a time! Finally he went upstairs and requested that his neighbor put his shoes quietly down. His neigbor begged pardon and said he would. That night the man upstairs came home late as usual, took off a shoe and dropped it on the floor with a Bang! Suddenly he remembered that he promised his neighbor below to lay down his shoes quietly. So he took off the second shoe and placed it silently on the floor. Then he went to sleep. In an hour or two someone came knocking on his door. It was the man below. His eyes were bleary and he held on to the wall to keep from falling down! This is what he said (the punch line in German): "Wenn lassen sie die anderen shue fallen?"
There might be some wrong spelling because I'm writing from memory.
:hilarity: :hilarity: :hilarity:

VINDICATOR
Posts: 495
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#425 Postby VINDICATOR » November 14th, 2018, 1:07 pm

Have you seen the reports coming in from another bastion of the Religious Mafia (HRC) in El Salvador? A young girl was raped and sentenced to 30 years in prison for abortion! Another raped girl gets only 20 years in prison, because her abortion failed and she bore the rape fruit alive. This creates a very interesting problem. Since the whole World cursed Trump for separating children from their parents, that means that the rape fruit child would have to stay wth it's mother in prison for 20 years! Imagine, a new born baby being sentenced to 20 years in prison! Have you ever heard anything funnier? It's so funny that it brought tears to my eyes!
Fellow Humanists, gird up your loins, the battle is not done yet!


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