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 Creative English 
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Joined: October 3rd, 2008, 3:11 pm
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Location: Lake Como
Naples' English
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The only thing I fear of death is regret if I couldn’t complete my learning experience


September 12th, 2010, 9:27 am
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 10:10 am
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Location: Darkest Kent
:hilarity:


September 12th, 2010, 10:24 am
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 8:53 pm
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Location: Badenoch
It reminds me of Catch 22 where Yossarian is in hospital and a form is being completed and he is asked what state were you born in? and he replies, I was born in a state of innocence.

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September 12th, 2010, 10:40 am
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Joined: May 17th, 2010, 9:15 pm
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Location: Gloucester
Excellent, Gottard, there are some linguistic gems out there.

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September 12th, 2010, 10:44 am
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Joined: October 3rd, 2008, 3:11 pm
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Location: Lake Como
And this beguiling advice placed at the entrance of a cable-way station close to lake Como:
"the cabin goes up and down at the same time"

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September 12th, 2010, 4:03 pm
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Joined: July 5th, 2007, 5:53 pm
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Location: Huddersfield, England
Not a new one, but it makes me smile. Signs at road words and/or level crossings used to say -

"Wait while red light shows"

Trouble is that 'while' in the north means 'until', so waiting until the red light comes on is not good idea.

They changed it to "when".


September 15th, 2010, 6:38 am
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Joined: October 3rd, 2008, 3:11 pm
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Location: Lake Como
Received in my mailbox today:
a local theatre-club informs - in Swiss local dialect - that:
"the old American western 'The Searchers' has been dubbed into our dialect 'Se Ta Capi...Ta Copi!' and shown on ....at 18:00 hours. After the show a Standing Dinner will be offered to all present.

Please note: writing in green was in the local dialect;
writing in red only was in English;
...hence: we are proud of our language but we dine in English!

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September 15th, 2010, 4:53 pm
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 10:10 am
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Location: Darkest Kent
Years ago, I saw a sign on a garden gate in Greece which read:

"Be Careful Inside Dog"


:hilarity:



I also saw a sign in the middle of nowhere in the Outback in Australia which read:

"Trespassers will be shot."

:supershock:


September 15th, 2010, 5:43 pm
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Joined: March 13th, 2011, 12:36 pm
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Location: Between the New Forest and Cranborne Chase
On holiday in Greece in the mid '70s, passed a taverna that clearly attempted to cater for English tastes. On the menu was:

Battered cod pieces

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The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool. (Richard Feynman)


September 1st, 2011, 9:15 am
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Ouch!

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September 1st, 2011, 10:06 am
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Joined: July 4th, 2008, 5:02 pm
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Painted roughly on a large board at the side of a Northumberland road:
'Warning - Danger':
shrug:


September 1st, 2011, 10:11 am
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Joined: October 3rd, 2008, 3:11 pm
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Location: Lake Como
Tetenterre wrote:
On holiday in Greece in the mid '70s, passed a taverna that clearly attempted to cater for English tastes. On the menu was:

Battered cod pieces

Nonetheless "Wordreference.com" shows this definition:

battered1 ▶adjective (of food) coated in batter and fried.

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The only thing I fear of death is regret if I couldn’t complete my learning experience


September 1st, 2011, 10:14 am
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Gottard wrote:
Tetenterre wrote:
On holiday in Greece in the mid '70s, passed a taverna that clearly attempted to cater for English tastes. On the menu was:

Battered cod pieces

Nonetheless "Wordreference.com" shows this definition:

battered1 ▶adjective (of food) coated in batter and fried.

Now look up 'codpiece'.


September 1st, 2011, 10:20 am
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Joined: July 16th, 2010, 12:48 pm
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Location: Birmingham, England
My favourite "misuse" of the English language occurs on a sign on the platform at Penrith station


Attachments:
train-platform-sign.jpg
train-platform-sign.jpg [ 50.24 KiB | Viewed 732 times ]

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September 1st, 2011, 12:57 pm
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stevenw888 wrote:
My favourite "misuse" of the English language occurs on a sign on the platform at Penrith station


Presumably it's in range of Cockermouth.

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Steve

The first principle is that you must not fool yourself and you are the easiest person to fool. (Richard Feynman)


September 1st, 2011, 1:09 pm
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Gottard wrote:
And this beguiling advice placed at the entrance of a cable-way station close to lake Como:
"the cabin goes up and down at the same time"

Travel notices often seem to have been written by quantum physicists; eg 'pedestrians, use both exits.'
I was momentarily enchanted last year, to hear a train attendant exhorting passengers leaving the train to 'please avoid the gap between the carriage and the platform'.


September 1st, 2011, 1:30 pm
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Joined: November 20th, 2008, 6:40 pm
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Location: Beautiful Ayrshire
In a supermarket near you

"this door is alarmed"

Being a supermarket door must be so stressful.

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September 1st, 2011, 3:43 pm
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getreal wrote:
In a supermarket near you

"this door is alarmed"

Being a supermarket door must be so stressful.
I am always very, very tempted to make a stick on sign that says, "No I am not, a little concerned at times but . . ."

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September 1st, 2011, 4:44 pm
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My eldest tends to mutter "there, there, door" when she passes :)


September 1st, 2011, 5:20 pm
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Location: Beautiful Ayrshire
Travelling up Glen Shee in the spring you will see lots of signs saying "Beware of Lambs"

Aye! Even the lambs are to be feared here!

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September 4th, 2011, 1:32 am
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