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 Crap movies 
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Joined: May 17th, 2010, 9:15 pm
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All posts should start with "IMO" I suppose because others may think differently.

I have just "watched" "Blade" with Wesley Snipes. The use of the quotes indicates that I fast forwarded in chapters a few times to see if it might improve. Never mind, Oxfam got £2 for it so it was not a total loss!

For those who do not know it it is a vampire movie with WS playing the Buffy role. Prefer Buffy. And not just because she is female - the plots and acting were better.

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August 29th, 2011, 9:41 pm
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I once tried to watch the "Blair witch project" Couldn't manage it.
I wouldn't even attempt to watch anything that involved "vampires" or "zombies".

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August 29th, 2011, 9:59 pm
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Oh Alan! You don't know what you are missing! (although currently there seems to be a glut of teen-focussed vampire rubbish. One has to be discerning).

I have to say that I think the original Buffy the Vampire Slayer film was utter shite! The series was fantastic, though.

Other crap movies I have seen include Highlander (what was that all about?) and Drop Dead fred (though I have to admit I could not bring myself to watch much of it).

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August 29th, 2011, 10:50 pm
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Crappest movie I ever saw was called "Avalanche!"
It was so crap it was comical.
PS. Buffy series was great. Never saw the movie though.
Best ghost film ever was "Truly Madly Deeply." I cried!


August 29th, 2011, 11:18 pm
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thundril wrote:
Best ghost film ever was "Truly Madly Deeply." I cried!
Emmm...ditto...

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August 29th, 2011, 11:34 pm
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Many years ago I found myself in the position of taking my sons to see Masters of the Universe, based on the television cartoon of the same name. It was a Saturday afternoon and the cinema was mobbed by small boys who were clearly loving it. It was absolutely dire. I couldn't believe how awful it was.

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August 30th, 2011, 10:48 am
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There was an absolutly awful film with (I think) Sylvester Stallone and it involved rock climbing. Now, what I know about rock climbing could be written on the back of an envelope, but even I knew that the ropes were all wrong and that the scenery (including the rock face) was made of cardboard!

Best ghost film I saw was on the telly and I think it was called A Ghost Story for Christmas (and I've just found it, here! Thank you Google!) I'm surprised at how long ago that was. Makes me feel very old.

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August 30th, 2011, 11:29 am
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My criterion for measuring how crap a film is, is how quickly I fall asleep after it starts. I fell asleep just 10 minutes after "Monster's Ball" starring Halley Berry started, so this comes quite high on my "crap films" list.

The all time record is "Field of Dreams" as I believe I fell asleep as the opening credits were closing. My wife, who is somehow able to stay awake through these films, is usually able to confirm the "crapness" of the film concerned. I feel that possibly a new list "The ten crappest films ever" is about to take shape in my mind!

Incidentally I was watching both of these films in the relative comfort of my sofa; I was not in a cinema!

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August 30th, 2011, 12:14 pm
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stevenw888 wrote:
My criterion for measuring how crap a film is, is how quickly I fall asleep after it starts. I fell asleep just 10 minutes after "Monster's Ball" starring Halley Berry started, so this comes quite high on my "crap films" list.

The all time record is "Field of Dreams" as I believe I fell asleep as the opening credits were closing. My wife, who is somehow able to stay awake through these films, is usually able to confirm the "crapness" of the film concerned. I feel that possibly a new list "The ten crappest films ever" is about to take shape in my mind!

Incidentally I was watching both of these films in the relative comfort of my sofa; I was not in a cinema!
Had you been imbibing as well by any chance?

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August 30th, 2011, 3:43 pm
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Probably more by design than by chance! :laughter:

As for the worst film, a contender has to be "Idiocracy" -- not only is it utterly dire, but the underlying idea is so promising that the film's lack of even a nodding acquaintance with competence makes it doubly awful; a stupendous waste of resources.

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August 30th, 2011, 5:23 pm
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I do not watch films, I find them as soporific as t.v. However I have three times been subjected to films whilst travelling long distance on a coach. The day time journey was fine as I could just ignore the film but the two journeys in darkness were dire as I was subjected to the film via the reflection in the windows, and the audio was broadcast whether one wanted it or not. I cannot read on the bus now because of my eyesight and I was a captive audience. I do not recommend 'Waterworld', even in reverse image.


August 30th, 2011, 6:36 pm
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I got stuck in Holyhead one night, (just missed the Irish ferry) and my travelling companion insisted on going to the cinema, even though the only thing on was 'Die Hard'.
It was bloody, bloody, awful. And too noisy to sleep. I can't believe they actually made a sequel. Should have called it 'If at first you don't succeed, die, die again..."


August 30th, 2011, 6:43 pm
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Val wrote:
I do not watch films, I find them as soporific as t.v. However I have three times been subjected to films whilst travelling long distance on a coach. The day time journey was fine as I could just ignore the film but the two journeys in darkness were dire as I was subjected to the film via the reflection in the windows, and the audio was broadcast whether one wanted it or not. I cannot read on the bus now because of my eyesight and I was a captive audience. I do not recommend 'Waterworld', even in reverse image.

Waterworld. . . Was there any detectedable smidgeon of logical consistency anywhere in that?
Anyone seen any merit in 'Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow'? I think it was supposed to be ironic, but it was just unfunny shite.


August 30th, 2011, 6:48 pm
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My most disappointing films would include (don't want to limit myself, now, do I?):

Star Wars
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Forrest Gump
Lord of the Rings (except for the scenery)


August 30th, 2011, 10:25 pm
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Nick wrote:
My most disappointing films . . .
Lord of the Rings (except for the scenery)

And Andy Serkis as Gollum!


August 30th, 2011, 10:27 pm
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re Four Weddings and a Funeral. I was child minding and the said child put on FWAAF then went to bed. I did not know how to turn off the video nor even the t.v. ( those who know me will not be suprised at that) and by the time the owners of the child got home at 2.30 I was on to the third go round of the bloody film. As a result I am word perfect, even to the sign language of his brother.


August 31st, 2011, 5:57 pm
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Val wrote:
re Four Weddings and a Funeral. I was child minding and the said child put on FWAAF then went to bed. I did not know how to turn off the video nor even the t.v. ( those who know me will not be suprised at that) and by the time the owners of the child got home at 2.30 I was on to the third go round of the bloody film. As a result I am word perfect, even to the sign language of his brother.

The only reason I can cope on this forum is with the help of Fia, Maria et al. I am clinging on to modern technology by my fingertips.


August 31st, 2011, 5:59 pm
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Yer doing OK, Val :smile:

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August 31st, 2011, 6:20 pm
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I also hated lord of the rings.

travel a bit, have a fight, travel a bit more, have another fight, travel a bit more, have another.......

the whole thing was so tedious.

I wonder what the new hobbit film will be like. At least it will have Aiden Turner in it.

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September 4th, 2011, 1:27 am
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I can't even bring myself to watch Lord of the Rings - I just know it will be awful. Read the book when I was about 15 - I felt I owed it to myself, as I lived just 5 minutes away from Sarehole Mill in Birmingham, which (allegedly) Tolkein had based his Middle Earth on. Read the book but couldn't quite see the connection...

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September 5th, 2011, 2:17 pm
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