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Swearing and Children

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getreal
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Joined: November 20th, 2008, 5:40 pm

Swearing and Children

#1 Post by getreal » May 10th, 2010, 2:12 pm

I was in Ikea the other day with my daughter and grandaughter. Grandaughter, at 2 1/2 being too young for the inhouse creche, as becoming increasingly bored and fractious. After my daughter removed the (rather expensive) cushion from her grasp to return it to its rightful place on the sofa, grandaughter proceeded to show her displeasure by standing bolt upright, raising her arms to the sky and shouting at the top of her little, squeeky voice
"Well that's fucking shit!"
I was horribly embarrassed, picked her up and moved away quickly, hoping (in vain) that noone else had heard her. Turns out she has some pretty neat phrases tucked away, including "fucking terrible!", "fucking horrible!" (or, more correctly "fucking hollible!") picked up, I am told, from listening to a certain Mr Minchin (which actually seems to tally in with the phrases she uses). She always uses these in the correct context and on appropriate occasions, so she is aware of the effect of them.

I have a pretty relaxed attitude to swearing. It's just words, and in the right context can really make a point. So why disaprove of swearing in children?

When bringing up my daughter, we never swore in front of her (only now, do I sometimes swear in her presence - even then, it's usually when I am relaying someone else's words) as she was growing up and she doesn't swear in front of us. I feel this shows some kind of respect for us.

I'm interested to hear what others feel about children swearing.
"It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on his head"-Tyrion Lannister.

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jaywhat
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Re: Swearing and Children

#2 Post by jaywhat » May 10th, 2010, 2:23 pm

My daughter has a similar aged son who can sometimes come out with 'surprising' words he certainly has not heard at home. Sometimes it is almost laughable, but she seems to control that and has a calm (on the surface) almost gently persuasive way of explaining that we 'do not say that'.
It is not easy.
As you imply, getreal, perhaps one can only stop one's offspring swearing when in front of parents. !!

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getreal
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Re: Swearing and Children

#3 Post by getreal » May 10th, 2010, 2:57 pm

My daughter (and the rest of the family. Here anyway) just ignores it and trys not to show any reaction, as that might make her use these words more.
I'm just keen to know how others feel about children swearing. Surely if we take the view that "they are just words" then we should not react at all to them? This, however, doesn't generally seem to be the case. Most parents seem to feel that swearing in children is unacceptable. I haven't spoken to a teacher yet who let's children use these words in school. The BBC doesn't seem to allow these words to be spoken before the watershed -but they're OK afterwards. Why should that be? Isn't that a bit hypocritical? Are we saying that when we are adult we can choose to use these works and that's ok, but children musn't say them?
"It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on his head"-Tyrion Lannister.

Gottard
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Re: Swearing and Children

#4 Post by Gottard » May 10th, 2010, 5:00 pm

I'm against Getreal and generally speaking I am of your same view. Children (most of the time) cannot know the context or precise situation and behave accordingly. Me too have always tried to show no reaction to my children' swear, to lower the impact.
Yes, anyone is bound to think that "this word must have been used at home" although, I must say, the telly is not precisely immune to fault!
I remember once, me, my wife and the child (then 3) were queueing to the passport control and the child, of course, darted in all directions; in front of us queued a lady. All of a sudden and no apparent reason my son gave a sound slap to the lady's ass. My face blushed and I couldn't but apologize to the woman. She probably thought to herself that this is what I do to my wife at home! Well, I swear, never done that. :innocence:
The only thing I fear of death is regret if I couldn’t complete my learning experience

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jaywhat
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Re: Swearing and Children

#5 Post by jaywhat » May 10th, 2010, 5:02 pm

Perhaps swearing is Ok for those mature enough to know when not to and very young children might get it wrong - but I agree with you that it is only words...

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Lifelinking
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Re: Swearing and Children

#6 Post by Lifelinking » May 10th, 2010, 10:58 pm

Reminds me, years ago a workmate of mine used to have his very middle class, very prim and proper in laws baby sit while he and his wife were both out at work.

They stayed in a very well to do suburb of Glasgow, and it so happens that the house next door was being renovated.

The wee boy was very curious as to what the builders were doing, and they became very fond of him, to the extent of sort of 'adopting' him and kitting him out with his own wee hard hat and wheelbarrow.

One day he went out into the garden to play and came back in earlier than expected. His gran (Hyacinth Bucket with a plummy Scottish accent) enquired why he was not out supervising the building work next door. "ach we ran oot o' fuckin bricks" ..
"Who thinks the law has anything to do with justice? It's what we have because we can't have justice."
William McIlvanney

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getreal
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Re: Swearing and Children

#7 Post by getreal » May 10th, 2010, 11:25 pm

:pointlaugh:

perhaps we should change the name of this thread to "Amusing anecdotes involving children and bad language"!

When my daughter was young I took her and a friend to a local picnic spot beside a river. As we unpacked the picnic the girls changed into their costumes and began paddling in the river. The girls usually went around with another girl, making them a little group of 3, so I asked why Claire wasn't coming to the picnic. My daughter piped up, "Oh mum! Didn't you know? She's a bit of a cunt so can't come today"

I've no idea what they thought "cunt" meant, but as they were using it as if it were an accepted term, I thought it best to explain that it "isn't a word you would usually use and your teachers would be very angry at you if you used it in school". Best to warn them.
"It's hard to put a leash on a dog once you've put a crown on his head"-Tyrion Lannister.

Marian
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Joined: August 23rd, 2009, 2:25 pm

Re: Swearing and Children

#8 Post by Marian » May 11th, 2010, 2:16 pm

:pointlaugh: Thanks for the really funny stories! It's brightened my day!

Don't know of any really humorous stories about Jr swearing except that sometimes it's a really good idea to have another room between you and he because the combination of swear words all in a big long row is just too much to handle. Something like this: fucking pie hole cunt fuck you bitch cocksucking whore butt fucker etc etc. Picture me on the other side of the wall, holding my stomach, tears rolling down the cheeks and trying not to laugh out loud. I'm just really amazed that he can string all those together without so much as a breath in-between. :laughter:

I don't particularly like to hear anyone swearing but sometimes it's just so necessary! Some of those words express just the right amount of frustration :D

I don't feel right hearing kids swear. I know it's only words but they sound so nasty depending on whose saying them. Hearing a 2 1/2 year old repeating words they've heard is different than an 10 year old who knows the meanings.

When I was growing up, we didn't swear at home or anywhere else so when I moved to the big city, I was pretty naive. That soon changed when one of the locals figured it was time I learned. I think my parents must have had a dual coronary when I proudly displayed my new vocabulary.
Transformative fire...

philbo
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Re: Swearing and Children

#9 Post by philbo » May 11th, 2010, 4:45 pm

Had a fantastic reaction from my 14-yo son when he heard one of the songs on my new CD (did I mention I had a CD out?), where the chorus goes "Oh, no.. not another fucking Christmas single"... admittedly it was largely an act, but jaw dropped, aghast look. All in all, rather amusing.

Thing is - IMO, it's all about context. Using the word "fuck" all the time simply makes you look as though you haven't got the vocabulary to express yourself properly.. and the word has no real effect when overused.


I wouldn't let your children hear the Pope Song :)

philbo
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Re: Swearing and Children

#10 Post by philbo » May 11th, 2010, 4:48 pm

Lifelinking wrote:One day he went out into the garden to play and came back in earlier than expected. His gran (Hyacinth Bucket with a plummy Scottish accent) enquired why he was not out supervising the building work next door. "ach we ran oot o' fuckin bricks" ..
Not sure if this is the song I want (I'm at work, and don't really want to play it out loud), but do you know
"The Kid (he swears a bit)" by Kevin Bloody Wilson?

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Lifelinking
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Re: Swearing and Children

#11 Post by Lifelinking » May 11th, 2010, 5:48 pm

:laughter: most excellent thread..
"Who thinks the law has anything to do with justice? It's what we have because we can't have justice."
William McIlvanney

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