What does a hug mean to you?

[Justme]

I remember a line in one of the Star Trek episode Balance of power , where Dr. Mc Coy was talking to Capt. Kirk. He said,

"In this galaxy, there's a mathematical probability of three million earth-type planets...and in all the universe, three million million galaxies like this one. And in all of that, and perhaps more, only one of each of us. Don't destroy the one named Kirk."

This to me is a very profound statement because even in our time, this day, right now are we not struggling to place our ideas. our philosophies and our imprint on the sands of time. Is it because we feel ourselves so important in the history of this world we call Earth or is it because we want to be remembered as the single spot of light that brought illumination to those we cared for and the ideals we thought important?

Are we so enamored by the sound of us justifying our existence by defining who we are not or do we really have something to say? Is fighting the good fight becoming more important than the person doing the fighting and if so, are we not as lost as we perceive those we oppose are?

Where in this life is there room for the most important of the beings that occupy it and who indeed are these people? Are these the people surrounding us or the person being surrounded? We make so much time in this life for those we feel important, but what time do we set aside for that one individual that provides the feelings that deem these people important?

What time do we have for ourselves and who gives us the feeling that we are important, as well? This is what a hug means to me. Not a strong hug, not a weak hug, but a sincere hug. The one that means the celebration of a single human being. That human being is ourselves and that person deserves to be appreciated.

[Dave B]

Give that question to a sociologist an anthropologist, or maybe even a psychologist or psychiatrist, and you will probably be told that humans are, normally, intensely social people.

The biologist might offer that we are genetically programmed to propagate our genes into the future, because that is the way genes are. Being the kind of creature we are this is done as the propagation of our ideas, perhaps in the hope that those ideas will help preserve our children, our "stake in the future" as some call them.

We often call it altruism when humans do it but many social animals, which are usually only accorded instinct, will give up something today to save their children's tomorrow, even starving themselves.

As for me, I have read about and pondered over this over many years but, in the end, the fact that I am genetically programmed to enjoy helping others in some way does not matter - the fact that I enjoy it is all that really counts!

[Dave B]

On the specific subject of hugs: a friend has just called to say that she was getting out of her car in town and putting a warm coat on when a young man called, "Want a hug to get you warm?" My friend is 70 but has a beautiful smile and an infectious grin - and a good sense of humour. Turned out the young man was actually hawking accident insurance so was probably an extrovert and was certainly cheeky, in the nicest possible way!

My friend took it as a compliment of course.

[Justme]

People seem to forget at times that they are just as human as everyone else. That is both a compliment and also a designator of limitations. Those that don't understand this tend to burn themselves out, either by running from or running to their fellow man.

This is where the term, "Physician heal or heel thyself becomes more than just a statement, but a need to preserve the person they are.

(1) Heal meaning to be sure their needs are met, since a person who is unsupported in health only gets less stable if they continue without it.

(2) Heel meaning to stop and take into account the successfulness of their attempts, since some ways of doing things are not only counterproductive, but also could be down right destructive.

The main thing is that people anywhere need to know that they acknowledged for being here. They may not be appreciated and they might just be despised, but they need to know they are counted among those that have been, those that are and those that were.

Ask yourself just why there are some here who act out and I would suggest that this is the way they can feel that they are being realized. This might be a little insane to some, since the logical way to most people would be to be inviting, but who says that humans were ever logical.

We all suffer from our species need to be needed. I think the most useful method of recognition is also the least expensive to give. A simple hug, a smile and maybe a tear for the troubles we all go through.

[Justme]

On the specific subject of hugs: a friend has just called to say that she was getting out of her car in town and putting a warm coat on when a young man called, "Want a hug to get you warm?" My friend is 70 but has a beautiful smile and an infectious grin - and a good sense of humour. Turned out the young man was actually hawking accident insurance so was probably an extrovert and was certainly cheeky, in the nicest possible way!

My friend took it as a compliment of course.

Your friend has a good heart. That's a real plus in this day and age. Thank you.

[tom in napa]

I welcome hugs with open arms.

A few years before my ethnic German (Strike 1) parents were born, an idiot posing as a child-raising expert published a book in which he told parents that touching their children would make them weak (Strike 2). My parents believed him (Strike 3).

I was 35 when, in a training for leaders of encounter groups, a touching exercise required us, in a room without lights, to sit in a circle with sock-clad feet touching. WOW! It changed part of my life.

Two decades later, after both parents had died, my four sibs and I in a reunion remarked that our mom had touched us only when she cleaned our ears. My sibs, their kids all 20 or older, sounded disappointed. I was the only one who'd chosen to have no kids.

[Nick]

Have a hug from me, Tom. I like them too.

[tom in napa]

Gracias, Nick. Will our arms reach?

[Nick]

Gracias, Nick. Will our arms reach?

I'm built like a gibbon, so possibly

Failing that, have an electronic one.