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 A challenge - the Write a Senryū game 
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 8:53 pm
Posts: 4079
Location: Badenoch
From Wikipedia:
Quote:
Senryū (川柳, literally 'river willow') is a Japanese form of short poetry similar to haiku in construction: three lines with 17 or fewer "on" (not syllables) in total. However, senryū tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature, and senryū are often cynical or darkly humorous while haiku are serious. Senryū do not need to include a kigo, or season word, like haiku.
The idea is to write senryu and post them. Here's an example of the form:

The great purpose here (5 syllables)
Is to state ideas in (7 syllables)
Fine elegant verse. (5 syllables)

I suggest we start with an idea, what was good or bad about our day, and go from there. Let's keep it to syllables for simplicity. I have a problem with the less than seventeen syllables idea and prefer the classical 5-7-5 syllable form. It makes it more of a discipline.

So to start:

Today with my son
I walked in rain soaked forest,
Damply discussing.


As they say, things can only get better!

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Carpe diem. Savour every moment.


April 29th, 2008, 8:41 pm
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Joined: March 17th, 2008, 6:07 pm
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Location: California (Usually)
Far from my homeland
under a sky full of dust,
I toil and wait.


April 29th, 2008, 9:03 pm
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Joined: February 27th, 2008, 1:17 pm
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Location: Greater London
When work is irksome
Counting pretty syllables
Is such a comfort


April 29th, 2008, 9:35 pm
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Joined: July 3rd, 2007, 10:47 pm
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Innovative games
can be educational.
This one is pointless.




:exit:

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April 29th, 2008, 10:41 pm
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Joined: July 3rd, 2007, 10:34 pm
Posts: 7263
Location: UK
Do senryu have titles? If so, this one's called 'poker'.


I won my first game
But then lost two in a row.
Still in profit, though.


April 29th, 2008, 11:28 pm
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Joined: March 17th, 2008, 6:07 pm
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Location: California (Usually)
I woke up to pee
after, sleep eluded me
now I surf the web.


April 30th, 2008, 12:12 am
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Joined: July 5th, 2007, 5:53 pm
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Location: Huddersfield, England
I used to write words
like onomatopoeia
without a spellcheck


up this morning to
complete my self assessment
bloody site was down


April 30th, 2008, 6:00 am
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 11:48 am
Posts: 497
My arm hurt today
Rather more than yesterday
But less than Monday.

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April 30th, 2008, 4:51 pm
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Joined: July 3rd, 2007, 10:34 pm
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The worst thing today
was having to leave my cats
at the cattery

:boohoo:


May 1st, 2008, 8:41 am
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Joined: July 3rd, 2007, 10:34 pm
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The best thing today
was travelling to Shetland
to meet Alan C.

:nod:


May 1st, 2008, 4:07 pm
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 8:53 pm
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Location: Badenoch
The Community Car Scheme

From the Forest Corps
Came their husbands, the war brides
I'm driving today.



Maria wrote:
Do senryu have titles?...

Yes, Maria, I don't see why we shouldn't have titles.

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Carpe diem. Savour every moment.


May 1st, 2008, 4:42 pm
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Joined: July 21st, 2007, 3:54 pm
Posts: 459
Location: Scotland
I spend many days
Just getting old too quickly.
Today was the same.


May 3rd, 2008, 5:02 pm
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 8:53 pm
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Location: Badenoch
For Thomas

I know that feeling,
The days piling on to bring
Important birthdays.


Or should that last line be...

Unwanted birthdays. ???

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May 3rd, 2008, 7:44 pm
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Joined: March 17th, 2008, 6:07 pm
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Location: California (Usually)
Unwanted birthdays
might be said to bring wisdom
but joint pain comes too.


May 3rd, 2008, 8:18 pm
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Joined: July 3rd, 2007, 10:37 pm
Posts: 973
Winter colds are bad
But summer colds are far worse
They just don't seem fair.


May 5th, 2008, 10:36 am
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Joined: July 4th, 2007, 11:56 am
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Location: Balloch, Scotland
Once a lonely sheep
Dreamed of a companion
Wouldn't ewe do too?

Image

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May 5th, 2008, 11:55 am
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Not sure I can do this-
I've only just got the hang of
Sudoku


July 6th, 2008, 4:35 am
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Joined: July 5th, 2007, 5:53 pm
Posts: 8931
Location: Huddersfield, England
found poem


Luo Jinquan carries
baskets of sheep dung all day
crossing the river




from Guardian Weekend


July 6th, 2008, 6:08 am
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Joined: July 4th, 2008, 5:02 pm
Posts: 3014
The dance the All-Blacks do
before a match-
Is this what's called a haiku?


July 6th, 2008, 3:36 pm
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Joined: July 4th, 2008, 5:02 pm
Posts: 3014
Adopt Japanese art-forms?
No theatre
is better than our own


July 6th, 2008, 3:37 pm
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