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God was a Jew and other jokes

Enter here for humour and irreverence.
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VINDICATOR
Posts: 317
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#241 Postby VINDICATOR » January 12th, 2018, 2:25 am

Latest post of the previous page:

Dear Compassionist,
Thanks for the comment. I agree with you, of course God is imaginary. However, more than half the population of the Earth worship this imaginary God who used to call himself "The God of Abraham" and now calls himself "Allah"! This imaginary God has created more suffering than any other. He has caused the murder of hundreds of millions of human beings! Even today he has created this crisis in the Middle East where he created millions of refugees and is murdering hundreds of people every week! Although God is imaginary, the human suffering he creates is very real!
Only children believe in Santa Claus. Why do so many sane adults believe in God? If we can't solve this problem, homo sapiens might go the way of the dinosaurs! I am just trying to do my bit to save the human race! Humanity produces heros like Schindler, Sendler, Ho FengShan, etc. We need your help too!

Compassionist
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#242 Postby Compassionist » January 12th, 2018, 10:22 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Dear Compassionist,
Thanks for the comment. I agree with you, of course God is imaginary. However, more than half the population of the Earth worship this imaginary God who used to call himself "The God of Abraham" and now calls himself "Allah"! This imaginary God has created more suffering than any other. He has caused the murder of hundreds of millions of human beings! Even today he has created this crisis in the Middle East where he created millions of refugees and is murdering hundreds of people every week! Although God is imaginary, the human suffering he creates is very real!
Only children believe in Santa Claus. Why do so many sane adults believe in God? If we can't solve this problem, homo sapiens might go the way of the dinosaurs! I am just trying to do my bit to save the human race! Humanity produces heros like Schindler, Sendler, Ho FengShan, etc. We need your help too!

People are brainwashed from birth to believe in God(s). Also, all (or almost all) of the relatives of most people tend to be of the religion they were born into. Most people are too afraid of God(s), death, Hell and social persecution and discrimination to leave religions. Apostasy and blasphemy are still illegal in most countries. In some countries these are punishable by death. No wonder people are too scared to leave religions and criticize religions. I have a motto: "Live and help live, live and love." If everyone lived by that motto the world would be a much more peaceful and joyful place.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 317
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#243 Postby VINDICATOR » January 12th, 2018, 1:12 pm

Hi, Compassionist,
Your analysis is very similar to mine. The problem is "Brain Washing". When a child is born, he has a blank ROM. Many things that he learns during these formative years like language, religion, social customs, love for his family etc. are hard-wired into his ROM and remain there for his whole lifetime. Over 98% of children will worship the same religion as his family. It is almost 100% for Muslims, because Shariah Law demands that any one who leaves the "Religion of Peace" must be killed! Fear of the eternal fires of Hell is one of the prime reasons for not daring to be proselytized! Did you ever hear of "Pascal's Wager"? The scientist Pascal was so afraid of going to Hell that he continued to go to Church and worship God even after he realized that God was imaginary! What is to be done?
You have a nice motto, It is very similar to "The Golden Rule". Did you see my story on the Golden Rule in this column?
Please note that my references to God are cynical, something I learned from the Pastafarians and their Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM).

Compassionist
Posts: 3224
Joined: July 14th, 2007, 8:38 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#244 Postby Compassionist » January 12th, 2018, 9:03 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Hi, Compassionist,
Your analysis is very similar to mine. The problem is "Brain Washing". When a child is born, he has a blank ROM. Many things that he learns during these formative years like language, religion, social customs, love for his family etc. are hard-wired into his ROM and remain there for his whole lifetime. Over 98% of children will worship the same religion as his family. It is almost 100% for Muslims, because Shariah Law demands that any one who leaves the "Religion of Peace" must be killed! Fear of the eternal fires of Hell is one of the prime reasons for not daring to be proselytized! Did you ever hear of "Pascal's Wager"? The scientist Pascal was so afraid of going to Hell that he continued to go to Church and worship God even after he realized that God was imaginary! What is to be done?
You have a nice motto, It is very similar to "The Golden Rule". Did you see my story on the Golden Rule in this column?
Please note that my references to God are cynical, something I learned from the Pastafarians and their Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (FSM).

Yes, I have read your joke about the Golden Rule. Do you make up the jokes in this thread? If so, may be you should publish them in a book. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is funny. I am familiar with Pascal's Wager.

Glad you like my motto: "Live and help live, live and love." It's actually not based on the Golden Rule. The Golden rule states: "Treat others as you would like to be treated." Isn't sadism a masochist following the Golden Rule? My motto is rooted in omnibenevolence. I would love to go back in time and prevent all suffering but I can't yet do that so I am doing my best to relieve suffering and increase joy. My motto requires me to be a vegetarian or vegan. I am also a pacifist. We should not kill any sentient being. Life is such an amazing thing. I am so awed by life and all its wonders. It is my dream that we would all learn to live and help live, live and love.

VINDICATOR
Posts: 317
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#245 Postby VINDICATOR » January 13th, 2018, 1:57 am

Hi Compassionist,
There are two reasons for being a vegetarian. One is for reasons of health. The other is a matter of morality. I think that a devout Buddhist is a vegetarian for the same reason as you. However, sometimes you have to draw a line between which animals can be killed and which can't. Take the mouse, for instance. Would you kill the mice in your house? Millions of white mice die in laboratories in experiments to invent new medicines to save human lives. We should honor these mice who are sacrificed for our health! Would you swat a fly? A true Buddhist wouldn't even step on an ant! I have asked Christians why they eat meat. They say "because animals don't have a soul"! However, they can't give an acceptible explanation to the question "What is a soul?"

Compassionist
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#246 Postby Compassionist » January 13th, 2018, 11:37 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Hi Compassionist,
There are two reasons for being a vegetarian. One is for reasons of health. The other is a matter of morality. I think that a devout Buddhist is a vegetarian for the same reason as you. However, sometimes you have to draw a line between which animals can be killed and which can't. Take the mouse, for instance. Would you kill the mice in your house? Millions of white mice die in laboratories in experiments to invent new medicines to save human lives. We should honor these mice who are sacrificed for our health! Would you swat a fly? A true Buddhist wouldn't even step on an ant! I have asked Christians why they eat meat. They say "because animals don't have a soul"! However, they can't give an acceptible explanation to the question "What is a soul?"

Among the religions on Earth, Buddhism is my favourite. If it were not for their belief in reincarnation, I would have become a Buddhist. The way most farm animals are caged is cruel. Just as it is cruel to kill them so we can eat their meat. It is sad that millions of mice are killed in labs so humans can benefit. It is neither fair, nor kind. We live in an evil world full of suffering and injustice. In the wild, carnivores are killing and eating herbivores everyday. I hate how vicious life is. Life could be so much better if living things didn't need to feed on other living things. The source of the problem is biology. I think we should upgrade from biological existence to technological existence. I hate having to breathe, eat, drink, pee, poo, fart, sleep, cough, sneeze, barp, etc. I would love to move my mind into a computer. I am not convinced that anyone has an immortal soul. Other animals feel pain just as humans feel pain. The idea that we have immortal souls and animals don't is not a claim that's proven by evidence.

VINDICATOR
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#247 Postby VINDICATOR » January 13th, 2018, 1:29 pm

Dear Compassionist,
Yes, Buddhists have a very high standard of morality, much better than God. The Buddhist Ho Fengshan saved thousands of Jews from Hitler's gas chambers, but God didn't save a single one! However, their "reincarnation" is just as silly as Heaven and Hell. They believe that the instant you die, your "soul" will transfer to the baby which is born at the same time! If you don't behave yourself, you could even be reincarnated into an animal such as a dog! That's how they keep their clergy on the straight and narrow!
Have you ever heard of the Gideons? A conglomeration of Christian geeks that puts free Bibles in hotel rooms to advertise their religion. The Buddhists have a similar organization. A friend of mine had some business in Hong Kong many years ago and when he came back he showed me a pamphlet he found in his hotel room. There was a story in it that goes something like this: In a court yard, a large family was having a feast and making merry. They had a whole roasted pig on a huge plate and were cutting it up to eat. Just then a Buddhist monk happened to pass by and saw it. The monk burst into tears. The merry-makers told him to go away and don't spoil their celebration! The monk yelled: "That pig is the reincarnation of your grandfather, how dare you eat your own grandfather!"
All religions are silly, but only Buddhism has a high morality standard of silliness!
I don't know who made this observation: "Animals, like tigers, kill other animals because they are hungry and have to eat. (They cannot digest vegetation) They can't help it, God made them that way! Man kills animals to satisfy his appetite or just for fun. Throughout history, man has murdered at least 500 million other men because man is evil, God made them that way too! Thank God sic there are some good people, otherwise homo sapiens would go extinct!

Compassionist
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#248 Postby Compassionist » January 13th, 2018, 1:55 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Dear Compassionist,
Yes, Buddhists have a very high standard of morality, much better than God. The Buddhist Ho Fengshan saved thousands of Jews from Hitler's gas chambers, but God didn't save a single one! However, their "reincarnation" is just as silly as Heaven and Hell. They believe that the instant you die, your "soul" will transfer to the baby which is born at the same time! If you don't behave yourself, you could even be reincarnated into an animal such as a dog! That's how they keep their clergy on the straight and narrow!
Have you ever heard of the Gideons? A conglomeration of Christian geeks that puts free Bibles in hotel rooms to advertise their religion. The Buddhists have a similar organization. A friend of mine had some business in Hong Kong many years ago and when he came back he showed me a pamphlet he found in his hotel room. There was a story in it that goes something like this: In a court yard, a large family was having a feast and making merry. They had a whole roasted pig on a huge plate and were cutting it up to eat. Just then a Buddhist monk happened to pass by and saw it. The monk burst into tears. The merry-makers told him to go away and don't spoil their celebration! The monk yelled: "That pig is the reincarnation of your grandfather, how dare you eat your own grandfather!"
All religions are silly, but only Buddhism has a high morality standard of silliness!
I don't know who made this observation: "Animals, like tigers, kill other animals because they are hungry and have to eat. (They cannot digest vegetation) They can't help it, God made them that way! Man kills animals to satisfy his appetite or just for fun. Throughout history, man has murdered at least 500 million other men because man is evil, God made them that way too! Thank God sic there are some good people, otherwise homo sapiens would go extinct!

Yes, I know about Gideons. I didn't know that Buddhists have a similar organisation. If it were up to me, we would be able to go back in time and prevent all suffering and all beings would be equally omnibenevolent, omniscient and omnipotent and own an infinite number of universes each. What is your dream? If you had a magic wand that actually did magic, what would you do?

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#249 Postby animist » January 13th, 2018, 3:29 pm

you both like Buddhism? Maybe Vinnie does not, and I am not sure that I do. Buddhists in practice seem capable of persecuting others, as we see in the case of the Myanmar Rohingyas, and the Buddhist belief in reincarnation leads to various practical abuses as well as to ludicrous metaphysics. For instance, the Muslim Rohingyas are regarded as reincarnated scorpions etc, so that their exclusion is justified. In Burma anyway, women supposedly have to be reincarnated as men in order to attain perfection. Lastly for now, IIRC, a Burmese Buddhist priest recently expressed his contempt for adherents of other religions

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#250 Postby Compassionist » January 13th, 2018, 6:27 pm

animist wrote:you both like Buddhism? Maybe Vinnie does not, and I am not sure that I do. Buddhists in practice seem capable of persecuting others, as we see in the case of the Myanmar Rohingyas, and the Buddhist belief in reincarnation leads to various practical abuses as well as to ludicrous metaphysics. For instance, the Muslim Rohingyas are regarded as reincarnated scorpions etc, so that their exclusion is justified. In Burma anyway, women supposedly have to be reincarnated as men in order to attain perfection. Lastly for now, IIRC, a Burmese Buddhist priest recently expressed his contempt for adherents of other religions

Buddha didn't teach people to do the things these Buddhists are doing. Buddha was an agnostic regarding the existence of immortal souls and reincarnation. Buddhism has been corrupted by people. People are often ignorant, prejudiced, cruel, selfish, superstitious, hypocritical and stupid - as demonstrated by the horrors of human history.

VINDICATOR
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#251 Postby VINDICATOR » January 14th, 2018, 5:49 am

Compassionist is right. The religion that Buddha founded is much different than the corrupted Buddhism we see today. There was no reincarnation etc. in the original Buddhim. You just meditated until you arrived at nirvana, the ultimate mental state of peace and ecstasy! It's like the original teachings of Jesus that had no orders to burn millions of heretics at the stake!

What is a soul? Do animals have a soul? I have a Christian friend who is a dog lover. His family included 3 dogs! He said that if his dogs couldn't go to Heaven then he would go wherever his dogs went! :smile:

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#252 Postby Compassionist » January 14th, 2018, 9:48 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Compassionist is right. The religion that Buddha founded is much different than the corrupted Buddhism we see today. There was no reincarnation etc. in the original Buddhim. You just meditated until you arrived at nirvana, the ultimate mental state of peace and ecstasy! It's like the original teachings of Jesus that had no orders to burn millions of heretics at the stake!

What is a soul? Do animals have a soul? I have a Christian friend who is a dog lover. His family included 3 dogs! He said that if his dogs couldn't go to Heaven then he would go wherever his dogs went! :smile:

Thanks. Some people use Near Death Experiences as proof of immortal souls going to an afterlife. Skeptics think they are the product of the dying brain. You didn't answer my question. What would you do if you had a magic wand which actually did magic?

VINDICATOR
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#253 Postby VINDICATOR » January 14th, 2018, 1:41 pm

Compassionist,
Did you see my post on "Near Death Experiences"? You will learn all about Heaven and Hell there!
I don't believe in magic (and miracles which is a different name for magic) because I believe that the Laws of Nature are immutable! However, if I did have a magic wand, one of my priorities would be to wipe out all religions! Religion has killed off more humans than any other disease!

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#254 Postby Compassionist » January 14th, 2018, 2:12 pm

No, I didn't see you post on Near Death Experiences. I searched for it but couldn't find it. Please post a link to it, thanks. Yes, people have killed each other in the name of religions. People have also killed each other for many other reasons e.g. politics, greed, vengeance, family honour, fear, lust, anger, pride, envy, etc. People have even killed themselves due to depression, despair, etc. The source of the problem is biology. We need to upgrade from biological existence to a technological existence. Once we have dumped our biological bodies and have robot bodies or better still bodies made of energy, we won't be plagued by all the problems of biology e.g. hunger, thirst, disease, injury, ageing, death, etc.

VINDICATOR
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#255 Postby VINDICATOR » January 15th, 2018, 10:08 am

Compassionist,
You can find “My Near Death Experience" at post #44 joke 40 on this thread. It's not a joke, it's just as true as all those other NDE's that the Fundies claim is true!

I see that you are one of those AI (artificial intelligence) fans awaiting the day when intelligent and moral robots take over the World/Cosmos! Would that be good? There would be no more suffering, but could AI appreciate life? Would machines be able to have emotions and feelings such as love? We humans are very defective, but the struggle for human rights makes our existence meaningful!

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#256 Postby Compassionist » January 15th, 2018, 11:04 am

VINDICATOR wrote:Compassionist,
You can find “My Near Death Experience" at post #44 joke 40 on this thread. It's not a joke, it's just as true as all those other NDE's that the Fundies claim is true!

I see that you are one of those AI (artificial intelligence) fans awaiting the day when intelligent and moral robots take over the World/Cosmos! Would that be good? There would be no more suffering, but could AI appreciate life? Would machines be able to have emotions and feelings such as love? We humans are very defective, but the struggle for human rights makes our existence meaningful!

I have now read your post 44. It is funny! I didn't say that I am a fan of AI or waiting for intelligent and moral robots to take over the world. I am in favour of MOVING human minds to robot bodies or bodies made of energy. This won't create an AI. I don't know how long it would be before we can do this safely.

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#257 Postby animist » January 15th, 2018, 12:35 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Compassionist is right. The religion that Buddha founded is much different than the corrupted Buddhism we see today. There was no reincarnation etc. in the original Buddhim. You just meditated until you arrived at nirvana, the ultimate mental state of peace and ecstasy! It's like the original teachings of Jesus that had no orders to burn millions of heretics at the stake!

What is a soul? Do animals have a soul? I have a Christian friend who is a dog lover. His family included 3 dogs! He said that if his dogs couldn't go to Heaven then he would go wherever his dogs went! :smile:

I don't think that this is true - ie that originally Buddhism did not believe in reincarnation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebirth_(Buddhism)

Compassionist
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#258 Postby Compassionist » January 15th, 2018, 1:34 pm

animist wrote:
VINDICATOR wrote:Compassionist is right. The religion that Buddha founded is much different than the corrupted Buddhism we see today. There was no reincarnation etc. in the original Buddhim. You just meditated until you arrived at nirvana, the ultimate mental state of peace and ecstasy! It's like the original teachings of Jesus that had no orders to burn millions of heretics at the stake!

What is a soul? Do animals have a soul? I have a Christian friend who is a dog lover. His family included 3 dogs! He said that if his dogs couldn't go to Heaven then he would go wherever his dogs went! :smile:

I don't think that this is true - ie that originally Buddhism did not believe in reincarnation: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rebirth_(Buddhism)

Please see https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatta Buddha taught that humans did not have a soul (atta). Anatta means no soul. Other people inserted reincarnation into Buddhism. Reincarnation was not taught by Buddha.

VINDICATOR
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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#259 Postby VINDICATOR » January 15th, 2018, 3:07 pm

Suppose that Jesus was the founder of Christianity 20 Centuries ago. If he were to come to Earth today to see what people were doing to his teachings he would be dumbfounded! One of his Churches burned over 10 thousand people at the stake! One of them said he went to America to start the Church of Mormon! There are presently about 2000 different sects/denominations/Churches/etc. that claim to be the real Christian Church! There is a recent tally of 10 "Mega Pastors" who make millions of dollars per year. The Bishop T. D. Jakes makes $147,000,000 a year!He makes more money in 5 minutes than Jesus made in his whole lifetime!

All religions are like that. If Buddha Shakyamuni, the founder of Buddhism, were to come to Earth today, and see what they had done to his teachings, he would die from infuriation! One sect of "Buddhism" that you see in the orient not only has a heaven, which they call "The Western Sky", but also has 18 Hells with different degrees of torture!

Compassionist: You are obviously a science fiction fan. I have read stories about moving human minds into bodies made of energy too. I advise you to not take these ideas too seriously. Better to do your bit to make the World a better place. As things are going now, if homo sapiens can exist for another millenium it will be a miracle!

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#260 Postby Compassionist » January 15th, 2018, 4:53 pm

VINDICATOR wrote:Suppose that Jesus was the founder of Christianity 20 Centuries ago. If he were to come to Earth today to see what people were doing to his teachings he would be dumbfounded! One of his Churches burned over 10 thousand people at the stake! One of them said he went to America to start the Church of Mormon! There are presently about 2000 different sects/denominations/Churches/etc. that claim to be the real Christian Church! There is a recent tally of 10 "Mega Pastors" who make millions of dollars per year. The Bishop T. D. Jakes makes $147,000,000 a year!He makes more money in 5 minutes than Jesus made in his whole lifetime!

All religions are like that. If Buddha Shakyamuni, the founder of Buddhism, were to come to Earth today, and see what they had done to his teachings, he would die from infuriation! One sect of "Buddhism" that you see in the orient not only has a heaven, which they call "The Western Sky", but also has 18 Hells with different degrees of torture!

Compassionist: You are obviously a science fiction fan. I have read stories about moving human minds into bodies made of energy too. I advise you to not take these ideas too seriously. Better to do your bit to make the World a better place. As things are going now, if homo sapiens can exist for another millenium it will be a miracle!

I agree with what you said. I am doing my bit to make the world a better place. Hope you are, too.

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Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#261 Postby VINDICATOR » January 17th, 2018, 4:06 am

Sorry for the typo on my last post. The christian Church in the Inquisition and Witch Hunts burned more than 10 million people to death at the stake! Victor Hugo's estimate for the Inquisition is over 5 million. Prof. of Archeology at Un. of California, Marija Gimbutas,said that in the witch hunts of 16-17th Century, at least 9 million women and children were burned/murdered!
Hitler was very humane, he would first murder the Jews, then burn them. The Church just burned them alive so they could have the pleasure of watching them screaming and writhing in agony!


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