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God was a Jew and other jokes

Enter here for humour and irreverence.
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VINDICATOR
Posts: 143
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#81 Postby VINDICATOR » June 14th, 2017, 12:10 pm

Latest post of the previous page:

An English joke!
A French policeman stops an Englisman's car and asks him if he had been drinking.
The gentleman, with some difficulty, says, "I've just come from my son's wedding. I've been drinking all afternoon and I can hardly keep my eyes open!
The Gendarme takes an alcotest and says, "Do you know why you're under arrest?"
Gentleman answers, "No. Did you know that this is a British car, and my wife is in the driver's seat on the other side?!"

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Tetenterre
Posts: 3056
Joined: March 13th, 2011, 11:36 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#82 Postby Tetenterre » June 15th, 2017, 11:23 am

VINDICATOR wrote:joke 55: Bruno vindicated at last! But where is the Church's apology?
I'm no fan of the Church, but the Giordano Bruno torture and killing, shameful as it was, is too often misportrayed as related to his heliocentric teachings. He was killed in 1600; teaching heliocentricity was not declared a heresy until 1608. Whilst it is true that he did teach heliocentricity, the heresy for which he was tortured and burned alive was pantheism. I do wish people wouldn't conflate these things - even AC Grayling got this wrong at a recent talk of his that I attended!
Steve

I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned. (Richard Feynman)

VINDICATOR
Posts: 143
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#83 Postby VINDICATOR » June 15th, 2017, 12:43 pm

Dear Tetenterre,
The Church of the Inquisition murdered millions of heretics of all "sects" by burning at the stake. At that time, heliocentricity was a newfangled revolutionary theory just starting to be recognized by the scientists of the time. Whereas the Church canon said that the Earth was the center of the universe, the heliocentric sect says that the sun is the center of the universe. However, Bruno said that heliocentricity was also wrong. He said that there was no center of the universe, every star is a sun with planets revolving around them! That means that Bruno's model of the universe was the only correct one. It is only in recent years that Bruno has been vindicated by astronomers by discovering exoplanets! Bruno was a genius. Four Centuries ago he defined the universe that we recognize today! Like Thomas Jefferson, he was a "sect of one"!
Yes, the Church hated this heretic for many reasons, and burned him at the stake like millions of others. The Church should apologize for all of them and not only Galileo! They should erect a huge monument at least 100 feet high on St. Peter's Square to honor them.

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Tetenterre
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Joined: March 13th, 2011, 11:36 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#84 Postby Tetenterre » June 16th, 2017, 5:04 am

Yet it is still the case that the reason he was "executed" was pantheism.
Steve

I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned. (Richard Feynman)

VINDICATOR
Posts: 143
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#85 Postby VINDICATOR » June 16th, 2017, 1:35 pm

Dear Tetenterre,
I think that the Church murdered Bruno for several charges. The number of "heretics" burned at the stake just in the Inquisition, (not including witch-hunts etc.) some estimates top 10 million, Victor Hugo estimated over 5 million, The figures given in Wikipedia are declining year by year. (That is what the gold bars in the Vatican cellar vaults are used for.) If you took a bath on Saturday you would be burned for practicing Jewery, if you had some real-estate they wanted, they would burn you and confiscate it! If you were pretty, they would just torture you for the fun of it! That is what happens if the Church has too much power! See what Islam is doing today where they have established a Kaliphate! Kidnapping girls for sex-slaves, beheadings, mass murders, etc.
Of all these murder victims why did the Church only "pardon" Galileo? To save face of course, everyone knows who Galileo was. If everyone knew that Bruno was the father of the exoplanets, maybe they would "pardon" him too!
The "pardonning" of the victims does not vindicate the Church. The Church should admit their crimes, kneel down and BEG FORGIVENESS. Then they should erect a huge monument to them on St. Peter's Square!

VINDICATOR
Posts: 143
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#86 Postby VINDICATOR » June 23rd, 2017, 2:43 pm

A joke for old people who think a lot on the hereafter:
These days the problems of hereafter are harassing me more and more. I'll go somewhere and stand there with my mouth open trying to remember what I'm here after.
:hilarity: :hilarity:

VINDICATOR
Posts: 143
Joined: December 22nd, 2016, 11:07 am

Re: God was a Jew and other jokes

#87 Postby VINDICATOR » June 27th, 2017, 3:48 pm

The population explosion.
Recently I came across my gay friend again. Here is what he said:
Gay: "The last time we met I told you that we gays have 2 very important merits. One is that we never rape girls, that's all done by the straights! The other is that we don't contribute to the population explosion. This is more important than you realize. According to the UN, many African nations have a population growth rate of around 3%. That means that in one Century their population can increase eight-fold. Today we see millions of Africans that need our help just to eat. Try to imagine what it will be like a Century from now! Imagine the huge waves of refugees storming our shores then!
When our progeny exceeds 50 billion, the Earth cannot sustain them. When the polar ice-caps melt, the sea level will rise so much that all of the most populated land will be innundated. all the mines will be depleted, the sea will be one huge cess pool, all the land will be polluted, all vegetation will be polluted! If we are careless, the straights will make us all extinct!
The only solution is strict population control. Maybe scientists can invent a way to increase the percentage of LGBTQ in the population (which is naturally about 3%) which would ease the problem. If 80% of the population were gay I think that humanity could escape extinction!
The religions are making things worse by denying birth control. They consider their congregation as a breeding machine to produce more sheep for their fold!


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